Coping with Uncertainty

There's always a point in your life where you just stop and think. What do I really want in life?
I mean, if you know what to want, then Allah will guide you in that.

There was a time in my life where I know what I want. So it was smooth sailing all the way. Then, it didn't go as planned. I guess, Allah has better plans for me.

When I was taking SPM, my target was...UPM UPM UPM. So I could get into Vet. I don't get to enjoy weekends because I was at tuition just to score my SPM.
Alhamdulillah, I did get UPM Bintulu. But everyone never wanted me to go that far from home. Then, I entered PPKS UMK or UMK's science entrepreneurship foundation, trying to get into Vet. I kick butt at exams and scored well. I mean, dapat anugerah kecemerlangan akademik upon graduating from PPKS. That has to mean something, right? Allah helped me in so many ways. Tapi takdapat Vet, it wasn't my rezeki.
Now, when I'm on animal husbandry course, I guess its blurry. I don't know if I want to continue my masters in Vet after my degree. I don't know if that's possible. I learn things other than just education at UMK. There was a shifting of perceptions on things. So basically, I told myself, a degree is just a piece of paper. You can go on and create jobs for people instead of working for someone else.

Ummi was against this of course. Awak ingat dgn degree awak tu, awak boleh dapat kerja? Kenapa tak jadi cikgu je? Awak dapat English, Addmaths A+. You can teach that. Kalau tak pun, pergi lah jadi Accountant. Anak kawan Ummi dapat Addmaths biasa2 je pun boleh jadi accountant. Duduk lah dalam office, dapat gaji. Awak change your course lah. Go apply using your SPM result.

So what happens to my 2 years of hardwork? Hilang je?

Hmm. When will you get to decide what you're going to do with life? I thought you're old enough for all this? Ummi expects us to be grown ups but she has trouble in letting us grow up.

Kerja untuk duit atau kerja untuk impian?

I can't sleep :'(