I'm going crazy. HELP.

I don't know how they can act like everything's normal
when everything is the total opposite.
I wanted to tell you guys but even if I tell you, you can't do anything much.
Its all up to me to turn this situation around.
Sorry, Hana and Baina.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost.
and everything that I believe in is false.
Love does not exist. not in my world.
I lost the people I care for. but they're not dead.
not yet.

I wanna kill someone.
KNIFE.
STAB STAB STAB

I'm falling apart.
It's been 2 weeks and 2 days now. and I am still not okay.
I don't eat much anymore because I taste guilt for every bite.
I lost 5 kg since then. but no one notice.
even if they did notice, they're not doing anything about it.

I feel dazed for most of the time when I am at school.
I took pills to make the head ache go away.
I wasn't paying much attention at school.
I feel stupid as the days goes by.
I feel this life is gonna end here.
but it already has.