Silence

Its been 3 weeks that I've stayed in Kolej MARA Kulim.

Here's my confession :
There's a bit pressure for me, regarding my assignments. Mostly my dorm mates would ask me when they have questions about them. Maybe I sounded like I hate to help them. That is soooo wrong. Its just that I would be the one who hadn't finished my assignments while they finished theirs with a bit of my help.

When I realized that I'm the only one who hadn't finished my assignment, I feel so stressed out that until one night I think its better that I take out my own life. Thank God I'm still sane enough to NOT do that.

Okay, here's another confession, when I was 12, I feel like my world has ended and was stupid enough to hurt myself. I carved "DEAD" on my hand using that sharp compasses which no one notice since I wore long sleeves. Am I a coward to take that knife and finish my business here or am I just being smart to stop myself from being part of the undead? I remembered that I had held the knife with my right hand that evening and stare at it long enough that I cried for being a coward.

What was the reason for my own act? I don't remember anything at all.