Rejection + The Cousin Factor

Waking Up really early to post something. NO, there's no great news or great things to post about. Its just that in no time my little sisters are gonna wake up and I don't have the chance to give an update.

Here's the thing.

I am excited to go back to KL and I am scared too. I'm scared of rejection; not by the guy but by my friends. Okay, this is gonna sound weird but Idk what my friends think of me. I'm scared that if I change, they wont accept me. I'm scared that if I meet them, its gonna be different. They're stylish but I am not. They talk make up and fashion, boys/their boyfriend, and up-to-date stuff, but I don't. whoa, I'm a Loser. and really no one wants to hang out with me.

There's another thing too.

We're gonna visit Nenek at Perak. and Ummi told me that there's a majlis makan-makan for my cousin's newborn baby girl. I'm grateful and all that I get to be an Aunt.

BUT, and that's a big BUT, I kinda have this cousin, guy, 18 years old. Well, when I was 4, I have a crush on him. okay, idk what I was thinking back then. I always thought he has leadership material and he's a lot of fun. This 'thing' is brought up when I'm in Form 2. he told me he like like me. but Hello? Cousins, remember? so, we text-messaged each other. here's the summary, he is actually over protective and in a creepy way. My sister told me her friend was once his gf and she said that she broke up with him because he wouldn't give her some air to breathe. he's weird but I don't want to upset his feelings and he kinda thinks that I still like like him. Dude, that's far from the truth. so, I'm hoping that I wont see him during the holidays. but What if I do? What will I do? God, Help me, Please?