I Wish

I wish that every time you look at me, you'd be looking at me like the way I look at you.
the way that I admire so much.
the way that I look with trust.
the way that I care so much.

No, that will never happen. No guy ever look at me like that. in fact, no guy would ever look at me.

Crap.

He changed, of course, from last year.
Last year, I noticed that he didn't bother to do any homework.
but he always did get better marks.
I bet he had played less RPG and used his time to study.
He's smart but its just that he's lazy.
The fact that he actually did his homework this year made me want to do my homework too.
I don't want him to think that I am lazy in any way. not that he notice
It's stupid that such guy can make me feel I need to do better.
that I can do better. that I can actually do my best in everything.

I tried so hard not to think of him. of course
but the fact is; the more I try, the more I fall in love with him.
Sadly, he will never know.
never.and hope it stays that way
N E V E R


even if it kills me inside that I had not tell a soul about him.
I hope I can shut up about this long enough
until SPM ends
until school ends
until I will never see him again
until I grow old, lonely
and rot to death