Rant

I don't talk to my Ummi about everything. I mean, I told her about not getting Vet and such. but I didn't talk to her about Wafi. Unless she started asking about him, then I'll have to tell her lah. I managed to tell myself that I CAN DO THIS, I can study Animal Husbandry aaaaaand get to be a Vet later. I AM NOT GIVING UP ON MY DREAM.
All of my friends help out with that part of my problem but I don't know, I'm still in denial with the whole Wafi thing.
Then a voice in my head said,
"Tak pe~ ada hikmah. We are still in contact with each other and stuff. Its not like he's leaving you for some other girl. He's focusing in his studies. You want him to be successful, kan? So, get over him lah, focus on what YOU want to do now."

What do I want? Do you know what I want when I got for UPM last time? I want to go there, but Ummi showed me a PPKS UMK flyer and asked me to apply. I applied. Then, Ummi and Abah opposed to my idea of going to UPM Bintulu.
So I listened to them, siapa nak menyusahkan parents, kan? Here I am, bekas  pelajar PPKS UMK. In which UMK said, kalau dpt 3.5 ke atas, I can apply for Vet. Skrg dah dpt 3.5 pun tak dpt Vet jugak. I feel cheated and betrayed.
Ummi marah, Abah marah. They said, "Baik study kat sini je!" and "Nanti mesti jadi cikgu jugak macam Ummi, bkan boleh dpt kerja sgt dgn degree animal husbandry". I was thinking, "You guys made me go there, kenapa blame me?" I didn't say that out loud. I just hate that they're blaming me. Stop blaming me for being so imperfect and so stupid. All I do is listen to you! I don't want you to blame me. I trust with UMK so that I didn't even think to apply for upu again. Kalau apply, at least I can change my career path and be some sort of Statistician or anything related to Math.

Please. I lost a place to rant on stuff. I don't have someone I'm familiar with to talk to anymore. 

Whatever. I'm gonna appeal for Vet. Let me breathe.

Never okay anymore,

Amelia