The (probably) brief summary of 2012

2012 Summation
In January
I was still a PPKS UMK student, struggling to be this such an awesome idol towards her siblings. I don't need worships and such. I want respect and so they'll look up to me and say, 'Hey, I'm going to be like her someday.' Oh wow, I guess I'm kind of a control freak. Wanting everyone to look at me as I want them to.

In Februray until May
Its when I struggle to study for finals and had my first dinner with my PPKS UMK family :)
Siapa tak stress? This was also the time I secretly thought of applying other university other than UMK. Takut tak dapat Vet, takut tak ada harapan, takut masa depan tak secure.

In June and July
Guess what? I didn't apply any other Uni sbb dah lambat and Taylor's uni is not on my family's budget.
Tiba-tiba on the 15th July, me, ummi and my lovely adik2s went to Kulim so I can go on stage and get that reward. I mean it was one of the days that I can smile up to my ummi and say, 'I actually did it...and its all because of your support :)'
But on that very day, I went home to BSD, holding back tears. Wafi and I broke up. The next day I got the news that I didn't get into Vet school in UMK but got animal husbandry instead. I guess I'm pretty much in denial since then.

In August
Fighting to get into Vet school, appeal to Dr Azam, the Dean. Alas, nothing worked.

In September
No Vet, No Wafi...I went on studying in Kampus Jeli. I think it was downhill for me. But I never lose hope, cuba jugak nak tanya Prof Ibrahim for my application. But its okay, I have my friends, I have my family. and Wafi, I mean, we talk sometimes. Hee ouuh, kat Jeli dapat roomates yang awesome lagi hebat seperti Nini, Zati and Jo Jie.

In October
Naik pentas lagi sekali untuk graduate PPKS aaaand terima anugerah cemerlang akademik. hikhik.
Ya Allah, jangan bagi aku riak. Jadikanlah setiap kejayaanku yang kecil sebagai semangatku untuk terus berusaha menjadi yang lebih baik. Ya Allah, insya'Allah next sem aku akan naik lagi ke pentas untuk anugerah dekan pula. Hopefully. Aminn

In November
Somewhere in October I met UMK Desperate Debaters (UDD) and active to debate since then. Who knew I could be one of those guys who actually have the courage to speak in public...and fight for the given topics.
By then I realised that enthusiasm is important if you want to be good at something. Tunjukkan semangat anda! Yeaaahh~ and oh  I also learnt that, if you lack confidence, fake it. Fake it good. Then maybe you'll believe that the imaginary confidence you build is true and real.

In early December
I keep meeting awesome people in UMK. Banyak yang luarbiasa. Kakak2 kat Kelab Nutrisi mmg hebat :)
Kak Sal, Kak Sachi, Kak Aisha, Kak Syifa and Kak Mira mmg ada jiwa yang ohsem, they carry such a good deed to help Malaysians to be healthy.
Met them on a jog one morning with Nurul and Zati. They've become family ever since. and I've become a member of the Nutrition Club ever since. Proud of it!

So I guess that's about it. The highlights in each month in 2012.
I wonder what 2013 has for me in store?

Amelia

2012 is saying goodbye

Oh okay, firstly, 2013 is coming up soon.

Phew, 2012 seems so long to pass, somehow.

I need to list up the events that had happen in 2012...so I'll know how far I've evolved.
This needs some serious thinking. Hmm...I'll get back to you on that one.

Controversional

I'm sorry for posting such insensitive post to some of you. I've been such a jerk. Not just in this blog, I mean, I have hurt two of the most important people in my life this week. New record huh? I need to think about what I say, what I write and what I do so people wouldn't get hurt by my oh so kejam hati.

I have upset a dear friend to me by saying things that was not nice, so I apologised but the guilt was never gone. I can't eat. 

So I stayed away from her in a bit so I wont make anymore damage. I went to the library alone that next day. Then met a new friend. Just a passerby that I blogged about.

I think that blogpost has upset another most dear friend. My jantung. See how evil I am?

I don't know . Ya Allah, I'm sorry.

I can't really talk to Ummi. I need not burden her with my mental issues. I need to be stronger than her. She'll never have to worry about me.

umk jeli on monsoon season

Empowerment

I don't need to always walk with someone. I will talk when I need to. I can be independent. I can discover myself when I am by myself. I don't have to always follow the flow. I can make my own lines. I can make a difference. I can soar higher because I have my own wings. Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. It means I am brave enough to go through life knowing that others will leave you someday. I know I can be my best because I have my family. I have my friends. I have Allah.

I can be anything that I want to be. I am limitless. I will be better. I am better.

I'm grateful for the extra sleep I get today. I'm grateful for still breathing. I'm grateful for the things I want but didn't get because its not the best path for me. I'm grateful for having Ummi as my Ummi.

I am content, I just want more.

Amelia 

Approached

Today I went to the library to do some readings on Polymer. As I was picking up a big book on Chemistry, I noticed an eye looking at my direction. But I was like, “dia terpandang je kot. Perasan je diri ni.”  I ignored the stare and went to my seat.

After a bit of reading and I found a bit on the assignment topic given (Alhamdulillah), a Chinese guy sat next to my table. He was using the computer to search on his topic. The thing is, the table he was at, has the not functioning computer. And he had to google on the next table. Nak jugak duduk kat sebelah meja I.  I didn’t actually notice him until he said hi to me. He is the same guy I noticed satring from the book shelves. He asked if I’m a junior and from which programme. I said I’m a junior from SBH. Just to be friendly I asked him about his course. He is a senior from SBH. And he was like, “I’ve never seen you before.” He wore spectacles, with so sepet mata, it was adorable. 

Then I continued on reading on the Chemistry textbook because there was a long pause. I didn’t want to talk much anyway; it’s a library, duh! Then he asked me, “kamu dah kahwin ke? Nampak ada pakai cincin.” I smiled and say, “No lah. My mum bought me this ring.” Terkejut that he actually noticed the tiny ring. Dalam hati dah terdetik, dia perhatikan aku ke dari tadi? 

I guess he can’t focus on the journal he was reading and ask a lot of questions that made me think. The questions are probably for him to know more about me. But really, I see it as if Allah is trying to make me think about who I am now and what I wanna be later. 

“ Lepas graduate nak jadi apa?”

“Probably a Vet, because it has become my dream ever since forever.” But I’m actually having doubts about that. So when he asked me, I don’t know what to answer.  Basically I answered with something I’m familiar with. Something that I have told everyone; I’m going to be a veterinarian because I love cats and blah blah blah.

“How about you? What are you going to do after graduate?”

“I’m going to open a massage center, or probably a spa. Haha nak ambil org kerja so org boleh urut saya.” I laughed at that.

“But that’s very different than what you’re learning now.” I mean, boleh je kalau nak belajar fisioterapi or something, instead of husbandry science.

“Yeah, tapi mmg dah dpt UMK dgn course ni, nak buat macam mana.  But I’m a hedonistic.”

“Apa tu?” Then he googled. Hedonistic, doing something for pleasure and minimise the pain endured.

Shawn. He’s nice, I guess. Though maybe I’m being paranoid or something because, when I was finished   with Chemistry and started on TITAS, he came nearer and wanted to read my TITAS book too. Maybe dia saja nak ingat balik apa yang dia belajar…tapi dia duduk dekat sangat. I was getting uncomfortable so I moved a little further to the edge of the seat. His right hand is on the seat of my chair. I cleared my throat so he wouldn’t get nearer to me. 

Anyway, it was nice to have a new perspective on things after talking to him. Though, the close distance between our seating was unnecessary.  Nasib a while after that he pulled away his hand. Phew.

From what happened today, I guess Allah never want me to feel that I am alone. Which I don’t, Allah sentiasa ada. Allah gave me a new friend in the library.

Here are the things I could think of to be grateful today;

Alhamdulillah I got to be the course that I wanted here in UMK, I mean it’s not much different than Vet. 

Allah gave me a mind that could think about what I want, and the strength to follow that dream. Alhamdulillah I’m not too lazy to pursue it. I mean, kalau tak usaha, tak da laa kejayaan, kan?  

Alhamdulillah walaupun duduk seorang mula-mula, ada jugak org dtg bersembang. Tak laa mengantuk nak belajar.

Amelia

Oh wow

Everything went so fast! Finals  are coming soon! on the 6th January. Grr risau pasal kimia? definitely.

So basically I have no significant story to tell you, I guess. But maybe I can just recommend you guys to check out a book called 'the Key'. Its interesting because it talked soo much on the Law of Attraction.
What is the Law of Attraction? You guys have to google it yourselves. I'm only limited to google (and blogger) with my Samsumg Galaxy Note.
tak puas nak google byk2 dekat skrin yg sungguh besar tapi xcukup besar?

Amelia

Instant reflex

I picked up a copy of the Star in the library today. and I guess Im impressed by how a lot of charities done in Malaysia and by Malaysians. Yayasan Chow Kit Children is helping troubled kids with their education. I feel fortunate enough to be able to have a regular life, instead of not having a birth cert and cant go to school. and you know what this 11 year old kid does before the Yayasan found him? He was finding customers for his mother..who is a sex worker.
And theres also about this charity walk for leukaemia kids.Walk for Life 2012.
and  Malaysia is on an aid mission to provide food and blanket to Palestinian families in Gaza.

I guess what Im trying to say here is Im lucky enough to be born as a Malaysian.. as healthy and as fortunate enough to go through life as a regular person.
Bersyukur sgt kan? Alhamdulillah.'
Jadi, kita yg sihat ni...kena lah tlg mereka2 yg kurang bernasib baik. Insya'Allah I'll find something so I can contribute. Dont u guys feel inspired?

- Amelia

Superman Obsession

Wouldn't it be cool if there really is a nerdy guy with glasses suddenly turned into a superman? maybe its just me. but I guess Im always a bit obsessive on superman.

The art of dressing up

Staying at kampung sampai Isnin YEAY.
sepatutnya balik today but Ummi doesn't have to jaga SPM students sbb no exam. so I'm all happy dapat stay a little longer at rumah Nenek. Oh, who knew rumah nenek dah boleh dapat internet. DOUBLE YEAY.
Doing assignments has never been so productive :)

No (Astro Beyond) distractions. No cat distractions. So I'd better finish all of the work here than bringing them back home. >___<

I was wearing a colourful pashmina--white but has colourful polka dots and a flower design on the sides. with a denim long skirt, shocking pink tshirt and beige cardigan. So basically I was kinda colourful. Bright actually. Along said I am always over dressed. Hmm. Then I came to a conclusion...

I was NOT over dressed. Other people were UNDER DRESSED.

Nowadays they put up less effort to dress themselves. and just because black is just so much easier match an outfit. So they dress up in dull colours. while I'm in such a striking colour,  I would just stand out so much. Way to be the misfit, huh?

Then, ppl are also heboh when some singer wore their hijab in a weird way. Just because its different doesn't mean its wrong. pakai paper on your head pun tak salah, asalkan it covers your aurat. Though that singer should actually cover her front parts... Nicely put, turban tutup rambut and kepala but not your dada.

But anyway, tak salah nak dress up, you know, just to give you that confidence boost. Tak selekeh n stuff. I mean, I guess I'm always that conscious of how I look. I often glance at my reflection at window shops to see how I walk; Do I look good? Is my posture okay? Am I slouching? Do I walk funny?

So, Thus, Therefore, In conclusion, In a nutshell...
There's nothing wrong to put an effort in dressing up. In other words, I guess I'm suggesting you alls to dress well and feel good. But hey, its just a suggestion. ^^

Misfitting styling,

Amelia

Walaupun tak pergi YHC

Yuna - See You Go

Hey, why you worry
I see it in your eyes
Why won't you trust me
'Cause you know even if you're a million miles away I'd still be thinking of you

Lovely, why you're so jealous
This is just me
I'm mischievous
But you know that I'm not the kind of girl that would do anything that would break your heart in two

I want you, if you didn't know yet
Need you, might not show it
Love you, more and more
And I really hope I never have to see you go, see you go (see you go)

Baby, I'm a Scorpio
I'm independent
I'm in control
Don't think I don't care, that I'll never be there; I'll answer the phone whenever you call

My dear, why you so insecure
You know I love you
And so much more
You mean everything to me, I'm never gonna leave you, oh you know that's for sure

I want you, if you didn't know yet
Need you, might not show it
Love you, more and more
And I really hope I never have to see you go, see you go (see you go)

Lately, you've been angry
Well you can tell me
What you're thinking
I'll tell you everything that'll make you okay, just stay and you'll be smiling again

My love, you're my story
I'm your princess
You're Prince Charming
Run away with me, we'll find a castle, live there and grow old together

I want you, if you didn't know yet
Need you, might not show it
Love you, more and more
And I really hope I never have to see you go, see you go (see you go)

Oh, my love
My dreams came true
Finally found someone like you

Oh, you gotta be crazy to think I'll leave
You're the only thing that's real to me

I want you, if you didn't know yet
Need you, might not show it
Love you, more and more
And I really hope I never have to see you go, see you go (see you go)

I want you, if you didn't know yet
Need you, might not show it
Love you, more and more
And I really hope I never have to see you go, see you go (see you go)

Lyrics from : Song Meanings

The beat is super glued to my mind

Well, pretty unwell

Listening to my playlist on Yuna, putting Eye Mo for the mata bengkak, holding a tissue for the nosebleed, blogging while the tv is watching me.

See how well I am at multitasking?

Even if I feel okay, I guess my body disagree with that.
Having such a disgusting sinus moment and panas badan. But I feel okay regardless. I don't even know whyyy its acting up in such a way.

Progress for assignment?
15% and paused

I'm freaking out but I'm not doing anything to finish them. Takut lah pulak when I type down that last sentence.
What if I'm the only one who's not studying during the holidays? Gaaah, macam mana midterm ni~ I'm scared now.

I think my nosebleed is drying up. Better start on that work =__=

Amelia

WHERE ARE YOU?--ANSWER ME.

This post may be meaningless to most of you.
I'm not being pathetic, I'm not afraid, I'm not hiding anything. So here it goes...

Remember those first glimpse, where you think that its silly to fall in love at your first sight, then you think that the feeling is nothing at all.

So you pushed it aside.

Pushed it to the farthest place it your brain, locked in a cabinet then lost the key.

But then the things happen like catch you watching me, though I told myself that you were just looking at some other things behind me. See how I was still pushing away?

Then after a while, I was the one who kept wanting to see you. I mean, the class is not complete without you. When your regular seat was empty, I wondered where.

and Oh then talked about you in this blog when you didn't notice me. Angry at the world because of you. haih budak pelik.

See how silly I get?

I smile like a maniac thinking about those moments. I miss it.

Look at you then look away when you looked

Amelia

Kalau ada geng

Dear bloggers, blogwalkers and stalkers
While other people are updating their bloggers, fb and tweets, I am hibernating. No, not really.

I'm taking a break from the virtual world. Doesn't mean that I'm studying at home. I am with la familia and that's just the best thing. The Noras are all here to have a random awesome moment together. and the fuzzy cats are multiplying. We are now having 10 cats. Getting fuzzier everydayy.

I love cats, but their fur isn't helping me with my allergies to dust and my sinus problems. Ohwell

I learnt 2 things yesterday;

• Do NOT wear sneakers WITHOUT socks. Blisters are such a pain. I'm gonna stick with wearing ballerina flats.
• Maybank ATMs wont allow you to transfer money to other banks other than Maybank accounts itself.

So that day when I decided to walk my way to the nearest ATM, to transfer an amount to Nurul, it was totally not worth getting blisters for. And on my way home, it rained oh so heavily that I was wet up to my knees.

Enough of that boring stuff.

Yuna Homecoming Concert is in 2 days! OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH
Unfortunately YHC is only in Penang and in Kuching.

I was planning this plan where I can buy the concert tix online and grab it before entrance.
How am I gonna go there? Hmm, bdk2 PPKS UMK ada program, I was supposed to be one of the facilitators on the 10th to 12th Nov and I was saying, I don't know how to get organized this holiday. By going as faci, I'm gonna miss a lot of time for my family and my pile of assignments.

So, I was thinking, at least kalau pergi Kulim, boleh pergi Penang jugak.. KMK - I dont have to worry about a place to stay, tinggal jak laa kat Kolej nun. Pergi YHC huaaa~

Mcm mana nak pergi Penang Times Square? Alaaa, ajak Hakim laa, dia kan org Penang?

Tapi I never let any guys drive me anywhere other than Abah and Wafi (and of course Taxi drivers :P) Lagipun, ummi kurang percaya dgn teenagers' driving skills nowadays.

So I crossed that plan off my imaginary notepad.  and now~ the YHC admin posted on fb saying they're gonna book a bus from kl! whoot. perjalanan pergi pagi 9am, balik malam 10pm

So am I going?
takpelah, I don't wanna be in that bus, takda gu, takda geng, saing takdo HAHA

tapi its a one in a lifetime opportunity~

tapi there's gonna be other concerts

tapi nak pergi yg concert ni punya jugak

mengada ngada tahap maksima ni >___<

beli Tshirt pun dah cukup

cukup ke?

Chamelion cAmelia

Wear where

Im creating an outfit in my mind for when I'm going out, when I'm out with family nanti.
I always do that, I don't know why.

Skinny jeans
Mini skirt
Denim Vest
Black t shirt
Black selendang // Blue pashmina (to match the miniskirt)
Wedges

Get the picture? Hmm, gonna try it out~ to see how it looks first.
haha kepala dah ingat kat rumah jaa

Dressing up, 

Amelia

Mimpi ?

So I celebrated Raya Haji at UMK. away from family, apart from Along. She blamed me for not wanting to go back home. But I want to go home too.

I was just thinking rationally, sebab kalau balik tiga hari ke rumah, ummi and family tak sempat nak duk kat kampung lama2 since we all kena balik awal before class starts. Okay, sng je kalau naik bas kat Perak kan? but then the reason my sister wants to go home is to have a look at our cats~ tak faham lah dia.
Lagipun on the 2nd Nov dah mid sem break for two weeks. leceh nak beli tiket lagi and naik bas lagi~

To tell you the truth, I'm just glad I don't have to sit in the bus for 8 painful hours again and again. Sekali naik bas balik dan datang pun dah cukup, kan?

Then on the weekends in my room in UMK, I got this dream about me driving (yea, ikr? I don't even have licence to drive.) I was driving and the car was a bit odd, because I was driving from the back seat. O__O

Next to me, in the odd car was Wafi. and we were somewhere in a Kampung area. I don't know where we were going but suddenly we came to a dead end. So I reversed. On my way out, Wafi recognized a girl, with long hair, t shirt and jeans. He seemed to know her. He opened the door and let her in. I guess we were heading the same direction.

"Siapa tok?" she asked Wafi, pointing to me. tanya pun macam tak ada adab -____-
He didn't answer. I was driving (HAHA), so I pretended like I wasn't listening.
"Slalu contact nya kah? Sayang ko kah?" she asked again
He still didn't answer.

And that dream ended just like that.

You don't know how weird and odd I felt waking up from that unresolved dream.

Maybe its because my conscience wanted to know what am I to Wafi. Indirectly, I'm asking him in my dream. and since it is my dream, I don't know Wafi's answer. That's why he's quiet in the dream.

So I guess if you ask for my status, I'll be answering "Its complicated." Because it really is complicated. I mean, I'm clear on Single but Not Available thing. At least we can be friends that contact each other once in a while. Macam Nurul dengan Aiman. They're not a couple but they go out with each other sometimes. kadang2 Nurul keluar dgn family Aiman pun ada. ^^

Blah blah blah

Its complicated,

Amelia

Cheering on for STPM candidates~

Haaaai ktk.
I'm not gonna post in bahasa sarawak because I don't want to pollute their language with my unprofessional usage of that language. ^^

I know I don't regularly check emails and this is the 21st century where no one even cares where the hell is the post office. No emails, no letters. Just this post, in which I hope you'll hear out and listen to what I'm gonna say. So here it goes...

Dear kitak,
I have never met anyone that's like you. You are this strong independent guy that cares about me. You are never the 'egomaniac' type which is good. Its really rare to find a guy that's humble enough to put aside his ego and let the girl wins when it comes to those silly quarrels we have.

You gave me hope and strengthens my faith when I am in doubt. Its not that I don't trust you there, its just that I have this huge fear of losing you. I know I don't have the best resume that could be presented. I don't know how to cook...yet. I'm not that intelligent. I don't mingle well with new people, as in I'm not a social butterfly. But despite all that, I care about you. and if that is not enough then I guess I am not qualified to even to get know you.

So for this coming STPM exam, I wish you all the best and I hope you'll excel well :) I believe in you.

Here's a cheer for youu, (the cheer derived from that day when PPKS UMK2 came to UMK) :

Go Wafi, Go Wafi,
Don't break my heart Wafi,
ummm chi ahh oh yeah
ummm chi ahh oh yeah~ (2x)
*pompoms*

HAHA I guess you don't know how the tune of the cheer really is, unless I sing it.

your cheerleader (perasan nak jadi cheerleader :D),

Amelia

Yoseob & Gayoon - If I Have A Lover

I first heard this song about a year, or maybe less than a year ago and I instantly say, ADORABLE. both of them, seriously. I looove this song mainly because when my friend showed it to me;

1. it has lyrics
2. it has meanings of the lyrics
3. it has a catchy tune

I have a thing where I don't like songs if I don't know what they're saying. So now as long as I know the meaning I'm all good :)

Baby baby baby, baby boo~

Amelia

Hear hear

Let me start this post with a simple 'Hi' because I have a feeling that this post is gonna be long. hihi
So, Hi everyone.

A lot has happened since last week. Let me start with my birthday.

Its not as awesome as 'wow supercalifragilisticexpialidocious birthday'. Nope, its kinda like having those bad things happen in one day but you don't want to look unhappy, so you smiled anyway kind of day. It brightens  up my day when I realise that even my not so close friends know my birthday through facebook. I think I'm gonna hide my birthdayy on fb so I'll know who really remembers my birthday date. ^^

So, wanna know what they throw out this year?
Biscuit
Nescafe
Baby Powder
in a bucket full of water.

Its kinda funny since that I never wanted to leave the room that night because I was dead tired and my friends dragged me out of bed anyway and went downstairs. They told me that Abang Zack is needing some help from us to be in the Kelab Kebudayaan. So I'm like, mmkay. Turun je la.

I worn my striped colourful socks with sandal and when Nurul saw it, she was like, cantik sgt lah sock tu. I'm like, oh ye ke? I didnt take the hint.

We were waiting downstairs for Abang Zack, in which he was not even really coming, then out of nowhere Ainaa came in with a bucket and washed me down with the mixture. I managed to flee for a bit but seriously kena my baju jugak lah. Wet to my underwear, hah. And thats how I smell like kuih raya and detergent.

It wasn't over, they asked me to play along until Tini comes, since it was also her birthday. So she was splashed too :O we end up running and chasing each other at midnight. Memang bising lah, I guess. Hihi sorry for our childishness~ tapi kami memang kanak-kanak riang :)


Moving on to my next point, ececeh bakal debater ni :P
That's basically what I'm trying to say, I'm a debater and I don't know how to debate. Aaaa.
The competition is on the 18th, 19th and 20th October.

If you think about it, I don't debate; I compromise :)

Am I fit enough to be a debater? I gagap a lot. Wait, no. I pause a lot. and I get more nervous when I have to speak using the mic.

I want to enter debating because it allows me to improve the way I speak. I want to learn how to project my voice loud enough so people can hear. I don't want to be misheard or lose people's attention when I speak. Because I never told anyone this but I don't like it when people started talking when I was still talking. Maybe its not intended..but I realise that they lose interest in what I'm saying because I talk like crap. I lack confidence. I am insignificant.

This could be a turning point.
Wish me luck, okay?

wipe my tears and kiss my forehead

Amelia

Just call me Amelia

Dear readers (where ever and who ever you are),
I'm not sure if I have any readers. Okay I detected that Nurul reads this blog. Hai ya! :D
That's one reader kan? YEAY <--- major loser alert. haha. but seriously.

I'm totally procrastinating right now. Procrastination is my new best friend apparently. haih, not a good habit, Amelia. >:(

I've been thinking...

Considering that my sisters are also NORA, I have decided that ppl should start calling me Amelia. Kalau nak manja panggil Lia, nak manja lebih lagi panggil Amy. kidding HAHA.

NO. Just Amelia.

Lia pun boleh laa :) cuma takut tak pandang pulak. Because I am only being called Lia by my relatives. My parents would call me Angah.

Dah lah I am in the same class as my Kakak. So we have 2 Noras with the same binti in Biometry class. Kantoi adik beradik laa meh. Her class already call her Nora. So ppl should call me Amelia instead. This is to avoid confusion.

Tapi agak susah nak suruh orang panggil saya Amelia, because all of my friends have called me Nora since bila tah. Any suggestions that will make this easier?

But anyway.
Thank you for reading this oh very merepek post that I type to procrastinate due to avoiding Lab Report Anatomy, Biodiversity and Chemistry. HAHA I should slap myself for being sooo lazy.
*tampar* OUCH?

gila.

Sincerely,

Amelia, Lia, Nora

The highlights

I was still waking up when my class was already holding a scapel to dissect our (oh-so-smelly) goat in Anatomy Practical Lab this morning.

After I have fully opened my eyes, it was already noon. So me and Nurul met Encik Badrul to ask for our tambahan kelas Biometri for this semester. He said we have to tell our lecturers and ask if we can take extra classes for the class we've missed.

Met my mentor for the first time (who is also my Biometri lecturer), Dr Kumara. He's nice.

Unfortunately, not nice enough to give us extra classes for the classes we've missed. So we have to get notes from our seniors for Biometri. 

Fortunately I have a sister who takes Biometri classes too :) Got the notes from her and photo state about 15 sets of notes. Total of RM48. Nasib Nurul bawa duit lebih. Phew.

#Rasa bertanggung jawab utk bagitahu semua rakan2 yg ambil biometri

So me and Nurul texted the whole class about Biometri. Tell them when and where the classes are held.

At 5pm, I hugged my pillow and lullabied myself to sleep. Nyamaan palak ^__^(v)

At 6pm terjaga and teringat about PRS interview. Its at 8.30pm at DK1. Nervous and a bit clueless (well, no. Mmg taktahu apa2 pasal interview pun.)

Struggling to get out from bed, I managed to force myself to get ready for the interview. 

Walked with Nurul, Jo Jie and Bie to DK1. At about 9.40pm baru laaa mereka panggil utk interview, which is when everyone else is done, we were basically the last ones. =___=' 

Walked back to my room with Nurul, thinking how and what we should have said better in the interview. 

Boiled hot water. Grab a stick of Nescafe packet, turn on playlist of Yuna. Sing along with Yuna while waiting for the water to boil. 

Minum Nescafe sambil tulis Blog~ 

--and Chemistry Lab Report =__='

Not-so-monotonous-after-all

Amelia

Tepuk dada, dada kata sakit

Dada sakit.
I don't know if its the unholy stench of cigarettes that is already sucked into my lungs or if its the fact that certain someone has some nice profile picture on fb that my chest feels uneasy. *dgn nada sarkastik

Maybe its both. I'm trying to break my record of holding my breath as long as I can so that I don't have to even have a whiff on those silent killers aka cigarettes smokes.

Believe it or not, I'm living on a block that is as same as the guys' rooms. I mean, lelaki aras bawah, 1 dan 2 only lah. the rest of the block belongs to the girls. So, basically, bawah my aras is the guys. Usually late at night, they would smoke and the air just comes into our room through our window.

Tutup tingkap? Well, my room mate can't sleep if the room is too warm. Jadi, kita buka laaa tingkap just to let some breeze in. Even if the breeze includes the cig smoke. Haih, mana hak asasi manusia? Boleh apply kat sini tak? Apa kata kalau kita simbah air kat dorang tuu. *imagining* Hehehe but really, I'm not that cruel lah.

I should tell them off or something. Tak pasal2 kena sound balik nanti. Rasanyaaa senior yg smoking tuuuu. Siap promote kat fb saying that they're selling some cigs. Ew, tolong lah membanteras, bkn bg galakan kay?

Enough about that, berkenaan profile picture fb seseorang tu kan...bkn nak kata sakit hati or anything. We are not married or even in a relationship that's official, I know. I know. Tapi...

His dp tak pernah pun ada pic dgn me. Tahu, nanti kakak dia tahu, takdalah nak buat profile pic dgn kita ni kan. Tapi, dia tu? tak sama ke? tak menimbulkan kemusykilan ke?

I admit that I'm a bit jealous (or maybe pissed off)...just a lil bit. I feel like I'm being played. Tapi kalau org tgk aku marah pun, rasa mcm aku xserius. Muka ni tak pernah marah kot. Haih

Single but Not Available, huh?

I guess I am never that special. Perasan je budak ni. Aku tak layak, ya. Why would I even think that he'd give his time of day just to talk or text me? Hmm, lama tak dgr khabar. Nak bgtahu berita pun fikir dua kali, does he even care if I tell him?

But just so you know, I tried my best to let go of you.

Unworthy,

Amelia

Raincheck?

I know, I know. I told you guys that I'm gonna post things that happened yesterday. I didn't get the pics yet from my friend's camera. Tak best kalau takda gambar kan?

So, I guess you guys have to wait. Relax, tak best sangat pun. Saja nak build up the excitement. HAHA

I O U

Amela

Adventure Time : Pesta Konvokesyen UMK Ke-2

I am probably too tired tell you guys about my story for today. I mean, sleepy tahap maksima~
But let me give you a clue about today.

It involves Snakes, Blood, Walk, almost Fainted and Buses.

Hahaha, let me just leave you to that. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, okay?!

and Oh, I survived. (mmg laaa, kalau tak mmg tak dapat nak post this on the blog O_o )

Amelia

My epigastric region is experiencing pain

Ever heard of this sentence?
Sometimes you see things that you want to see.

I don't know why, I keep seeing him everywhere. Last time when I was in Tanah Merah, out for shopping supplies, I saw this guy that looked like him. The guy pass by me while I was crossing the road to KFC. I knew it wasn't him. I mean, duh, tak logik if suddenly he appeared in Kelantan. Then I saw a guy in Kampus Jeli, macam dia. I was thinking, kenapa ni? What is wrong with me?

Then I reached to a conclusion that maybe this heart of mine is in cahoots with my brain, trying to make me happy and jump start excited for about 3 seconds whenever I think I saw him. But you are wrong, heart and brain, its not nice to take away that joy when you realise its all an illusion.

Dear heart and brain, are you trying to make me suffer? I know you meant well, but please stop with all this toying around. I don't know how to make it all better anymore.

I can't let all of this go until I admit this to myself: I do miss him. I've been denying it, in hoping that maybe I wont get hurt if I know that he doesn't miss me. Stupid silly me.

I'm sorry for being so cliché. But its the truth and I cannot lie.

Silly silly Amelia

The complications of staying awake

I had trouble with keeping my eyes open during my TITAS lecture today. Its not like our lecturer, Dr Mohd Nawi had started on our lesson or anything. Its was only introductory. Tanya nama, asal mana and stuff.

I think I should start taking my pills. -____-

what pill? This one~

Symptoms of anaemia - Pallor/ Pale looking, weakness, headache , breathlessness, dizziness and rapid heartbeat.

I should go get tests or something.

Oh, Prof Ibrahim wasn't in today. Tak jumpalah lagi dia. He was at this Merdeka Raya celebration. in Bdr Jeli.

Esok jumpaa lah, dgn Sue. 

Fighting!

Amelia

Transferring jam kredit?

Woke at 5.30am this morning and got ready for Kimia Am..which starts at 8 am.
My lecturer for Kimia Am is Dr Wong Yee Ching. He doesn't like to be called 'Sir'...which is exactly what I alwaaaays call teachers in my previous school. Its kinda hard too break that habit.
Kena ingat: DOCTOR WONG. NOT 'SIR'. got it.

In between yawning and pretending to be awake (still not used to be awake at 8am), Dr Wong asked us whether we are from STPM, Matriculation or other studies. So Azam answered that we were from PPKS. Then Dr Wong said something about our notes back in PPKS. He said that he was the one who made our syllabus. Its basically the same thing as the one he's about to teach. He said something about dropping Kimia Am, ops, not 'dropping' the subject. I mean, transferring the jam kredit from PPKS so we don't have to study Kimia Am again. I was like, YEAAAAY. NO KIMIA~

But if you think about it, if you don't go to class for a whole Semester, the things you learn will slowly fade and of course you forget. Then when next sem starts, you have no clue whats going on. Thats what I'm afraid of. I hate being clueless, even if I am mostly lost when it comes to new things.

So me, Mahir, Nurul, Azam and Hakim went to the office to ask about the transferring jam kredit. Unfortunately En Aweng wasn't in today. But the guy in the office said, he'll inform us about our jam kredit later. Apparently we can transfer a lot of out jam kredit. Probably we only have to study TITAS and Kenegaraan for this Semester. Oh Glorious world :D haha

Even with theeeese kind of benefits, I am still waiting for my appeal for Vet. Which I am going to discuss with Prof Ibrahim petang ni. *nervous*

Wish me luck, everyone.

Amelia

The Oh-so-penat Week

Sorry for being absent for about a week. (Not that anyone is waiting for me to post this)

Orientation here in UMK...

What can I say? Tiring obviously. The facilitators are the best. Its just that I can't shake off the feeling that I am a little homesick. 

Though, my sister is coming to UMK this Saturday and she's staying in the same campus as I am.

Do you know what reaction did she has when I got into Kampus Jeli?

PANIC. 

Why? It puzzles me too. She told me that she doesn't want anyone know that we're related. 

Nak buat macam mana? Nama pun lebih kurang, binti pun sama. haih, pelik sungguh.

She said that I should just say that I'm just a junior she met the other day...or something like that. If her friends asked about me, I should stick with that story.

Anyway, its still Raya kan? I think UMK is going to have a Raya Celebration soon. and Choir are gonna sing. I'm in the choir, could you believe that? I didn't even know that there's a pplace to sign up for public speaking and choral speaking. Menyesal tahap maksima /-__-\

Oh today we had to move out of our own room and move to another room in another block. I was like, staying on the fourth floor. and had to move to another forth floor on the next block. 

Penat~ 

Phew.

Now Im bored and updated my fb's profile pic. ^^

Fifth day of Raya. Kebaya then KFC.
and it still fits. Jealous? :P

nak kena rearrange our bilik tomorrow. Gaaaaaah. Good night ya'll.

Amelia

Awkward Raya 2012

First and foremost, Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims.

This Raya made me wonder..Why do we celebrate Raya? What is the purpose? What Hari Kemenangan?

All I know is that its not supposed to be what I'm experiencing this Raya.

Kena bermaaf-maafan. I don't think I apologised with enough sincerity. I mean, tahun lepas mmg jejak kasih lah dikatakan. Macam anak branak dah lama dipisahkan pastu minta maaf sbb gaduh in the first place. But this year...mana semangat tu?

Is it really because you are growing older and that Raya magic suddenly goes away? No bunga api? No ketupat pulut? Is that it?

---

*awal di pagi Raya*

Everyone wondered, "Mana dia? Nak salam raya pastu nak tangkap gamba keluarga ni."

"Oh, tadi nampak kat dalam kereta."

"Kenapa? Dia nak keluar ke?"

"Entah lah. Macam tgh tgk hp ke ipad ke apa tah dlm kereta tu."

*sampai rumah saudara nak beraya*

"Eh, tadi nak keluar kereta, ingatkan dia dah keluar jugak."

"A'ah laaa. Dia cari tmpat parking elok2 kot."

-bilaa dah lama sgt, baru laa dia masuk rumah saudara ni-

"Jauh sgt ke parking tadi tu?" *nada sindir* 

*dalam rumah saudara*

-saudara ajak bersembang, dia buat sombong-

What am I saying here? I don't know the correct term or the expression to say. 

I never like thinking bad about a person. 

Ummi pesan, tak baik buruk sangka.

If you are in my shoes, what would you feel?

bukan ke dah cerah lagi bersuluh?

What would you feel if that someone does that, described up there, 

and that someone is related to you?

Pastu cepat-cepat nak balik rumah. Bkn ada apa kat rumah tu. Ada ke?

Kesian nenek duduk sorang kat kampung. Apa salahnya kalau tinggal sehari lagi kat kampung nenek?

Dah sampai rumah, laju je keluar rumah.

I get it. 

Kalau tak nak raya dgn kami, JUST DON'T. 

GO AWAY. 

GO AWAY.

GO AWAY.

GO AWAY AND TAKE ALL YOUR STUFF. 

I'M NOT OKAY WITH THIS.

Latte late

I HAVE NOT ISI BORANG PENDAFTARAN N STUFF.

See how in denial I am?

No regrets

Yesterday I read my friend's blog saying that she'll be going to MSU instead of UMK. 

I was like, baruuu nak jmpa semulaa after being apart for so long.

Any who, GOOD LUCK, SHEZRYNA :)

We'll meet soon,

Amelia

The great listener

Hey readers.
I learnt something valuable for the past few days.

I learnt that where ever you are in the world, Allah can hear you. You just have to reach out for him.

And I've become a listener to 2 of my special friends. There were three special people in my life have problems but the other one didn't tell me. I don't mind. I guess he needs time and anyway, who's a better listener than Allah?

You just have to keep on praying so you'd get the best answer or closure from Allah. 

I have things going on too but sometimes you have to push them aside and keep quiet about it. Listen to what others have to say and even if you don't always come up with the best solutions, at least you can say that you're there for them.

*hugs* Don't be sad, okay? Allah has a lot planned out for you. You are one of the lucky ones, to be chosen to go through that bumpy road in life. You are strong enough to go through tomorrow. Maybe Allah wants you to live it and tell others how you've made it through. Then, wouldn't you be helping others when you have the experience to tell it?

I am here for you,

Amelia

Secretomundo

Along knows about me and Wafi and she panicked.
Why?
Suddenly she said things like, "kat Jeli tu byk laki gatal2. Haih, kalau awak ada Wafi, takdelah awak tersangkut dgn org sana. Alamak cmne ni?"

I'm like..its not like I want to be away from Wafi. and its not like I plan to like someone from there and get married. Haih. I'm gonna wait for Wafi. but if he's not waiting for me, its okay, I have faith in Allah.

and Im planning on keeping me being single as a secret. I mean, when I'm at university, I'll be saying things like, "Oh I'm engaged." and I'll be showing them my ring given by Ummi. HAHA. when I told Along about that, she said, "oh, bagus.". That will give away the attention. kot. Tak kan orang nak kacau tunang orang?

and there's this guy I known since darjah 3. We reconnected 2 years ago, I think. Through fb lah. tak pernah jumpa  pun. and he was like, "nanti nora dah single, nak jdkan Nora gf pastu isteri". Wekk. Tak mauuu. Takmau lah dia tahu. and don't u guys ever tell him, kaaaay?
He said it once upon a time ago. I was in a relationship with Wafi. Truly happy :)
and the guy chat with me on fb. I mean, if a person saw u online and chats with u, would u ignore it? I don't wanna be rude. So I replied short and simple to him. just so he'd get the idea that I don't wanna chat anymore. >___<

Nora dah ada someone lah in my heart. and his name is Abdul Wafi Bin Hj Othman. one and only.

But I don't know if I am in his heart. malu je kalau dia dah jmpa org lain. and tinggal Nora kat sini terkapai-kapai for him. OUCH?

I feel like I need the answer from him. Will you wait for me? Or are you already over me?

I hope Wafi doesn't read this blog anymore. Hmm, does he? If he is, he'll know I'm not over him. and my undercover as the Independent Woman will be blown. Gaaaaah.

David Archuletta's A Little Too Not Over You,

Amelia

Confidence

If you don't have it, do what I do...
How to fake confidence?

 *Smile :)

Smile to everyone. 

When they smile back at ya, you'll feel good about yourself.

 *Practice the speech in your head. 

and out loud in front of the mirror so you'll know what you look like when you say it.

*If something keep you down, don't feel bad about yourself. 

Just tell yourself that all that has happen has its own reasons. Stop being sad, and be awesome instead.

* Be excited. at anything.

Take interest in everything you do. 

Embrace your awesomeness,

Amelia

Why my nasi goreng has no sayur.

Just because.
My nasi goreng has no sayur because I don't eat them, my adik2 doesn't eat them and it takes less time to goreng it. Tak payah chop up any veggies. See how it is easier not to put sayur at all :)

Oh ohh, I made my first spaghetti for berbuka yesterday. Wait, I've done spaghetti before. Just that this time, I did it all by myself. with Ummi's guidance of course.
Sorry for sounding so excited over some little silly things but I am and this is my blog, so...hah! Take that!

Its just that I don't think I will ever be good at cooking. and when something edible is made by me, of course lah I'm excited. Wont you be too?

But the sad part about making spaghetti yesterday was that Ummi didn't get to enjoy it. She has some illness that forbids her to eat any food that's 'menjalar'. and tomatoes are one of them. Oh, I hope Ummi's gonna be alright. Pray with me, everyone :')

Amelia

OUCH

IT HURTS.

end of story?

:(

Why does your body temperature rise when you have a virus such as the flu?

When your body temperature rises because of an infection, it's called a fever. Fevers are caused by chemicals called pyrogens flowing in the bloodstream. Pyrogens make their way to thehypothalamus in the brain, which is in charge of regulating body temperature. When pyrogens bind to certain receptors in the hypothalamus, body temperature rises.

Read more on Discovery Health .

Ramadhani

No, I didn't misspell Ramadhan.  I  knew a guy named Muhd Ramadhani when I was in my Form 3. and I'm writing this post because I remember something that he had said.

We knew each other through tuition. kat putama MRSM Kuching. He helped me with my BM and I sometimes help him with his English and Maths. We're not that close as friends pun. He's the kind of goody two shoes and I was not attracted to him whatsoever. I think I like a good guy with a hidden dark side. Hmm.

Getting back to the reason I'm writing this post, one question that he asked me a few days before raya.
"Nora, awak pergi kubur nenek awak tak tahun ni?"
"Tak..." I wasn't even finished with that sentence and he already gone talking to the others saying,
"Eh, Nora kata dia tak pergi melawat kubur nenek dia raya nanti. Tak baik kan macam tu."
Now he made me sound like a girl who doesn't give a damn about her grandparents.

I didn't remember if I did explain to him the real thing. Cepat jugak mulut laki kan?

I didn't manage to visit my grandparents grave that year. I was celebrating raya in Kuching that year. Tak dapat balik kampung on the first raya with nenek in Perak. We didn't fly back to KL or drove back to Perak. Thats why I told him that I'm not going to visit their grave for that raya. Hmm.

Sometimes you have to wait for others to finish so you don't get carried away with so many jumbled up conclusions about the person.

Get it?

Amelia

Sick and Beyond

I was 5 or 6 days sick. I got the flu, I guess. Demam tiba-tiba. 

Okay, demam on bulan puasa, what can it do to ya?

At first, kurus lah. You are not in the mood to eat and when its time to break my fast, you are still not in the mood. But I kinda envy when I look at my sister eating her chicken during berbuka, when I'm barely eating the murtabak. Nonetheless....

The result is something I loike:  Pipi kurang tembam, tummy is flat :DD

I slept the whole five days straight and not doing anything else beside going to the bathroom and watching our new installed Astro Beyond. Yes, be jealous. I love playing with the remote control, 

rewind~~~~~fastforward~~~~~ 

Anyway, does anybody know why our temperature rise when we have a fever?

Amelia

M.I.A.

Reason for M.I.A. : I have no reason to live.

Kidding, kidding. I'm just messing with ya. Well, I was MIA from blogging 'cause I was at my Nenek's house for the weekend. No internet which means we were playing Saidina with Alissa.
Disconnect to Connect.




I create a text and erase it again. When I reread it, I felt silly and stupid. I hate feeling stupid.

But when I have the guts to press send, I realised I don't have prepaid. Gaaaah.
I'm upset and happy at the same time. I could've been this weak girl who tries to kacau her ex.


Please don't say things like, "Just leave me when you found someone better than me"  :(

Comparisons are easily made once you've had the taste of perfection.
You said move on, where do I go? I guess second best is the one I will know.

Dush

*totally NOT crying right now.

No, I'm not in denial.

No, I can handle this.

Yes, I'm smiling.

Its okay, I'm always like this. 

The one who can't really step up and be strong.
The one who can't raise a voice just to be heard.

Have some confidence lah.
Confidence is not a character you are born with. You have to build it up yourself.  Build a really tall wall so kebal that it wouldn't fall. But if it does, you don't lose anything. Then, you're just gonna be the coward self you are.

Double Dush,

Amelia

Note to self

" Rasulullah bersabda,“Hendaklah kamu bersungguh-sungguh dalam perkara yang memberi manfaat kepadamu, mintalah pertolongan dari Allah dan jangan kamu merasa lemah. Jika kamu ditimpa sesuatu, janganlah pula kamu mengatakan, “kalau aku berbuat itu dan ini, nescaya jadi begini…”. Sebaliknya katakanlah, “itu adalah ketentuan Allah dan apa yang Allah kehendaki pasti akan terjadi”. Sebenarnya perkataan ‘kalau’ itu membuka pintu kepada perbuatan syaitan.” (Hadis riwayat Bukhari)

Allah dah bagi yang terbaik.. :)

Yang terbaik tidak bermaksud yang kita mahu..

Juga tak semestinya yang tertinggi..

Tapi ketentuan ini inshaAllah boleh jadikan kita insan yang lebih baik.. :) "

From Ayu Fazlina's status update

I need to read this again over and over again so I could remember and it becomes a part of my soul. 

Tak susah. Tak susah.

Like feathers

Ever feel like...

everything you ever wanted is there,
right in your hand
Its light as a feather. The lightest ever.
And you grip it very tight so it wouldn't fly away. 

But you also have the things that you hate, and held it in your other hand

Its sticky, like the times you accidentally touch undry glue

Oh, you tried shake it off, flapping your hand up and down

It wont come off. Stuck.

you began collecting all the things you want
and try to get rid the things you don't

one hand open, one hand closed

the more you have the feathers, 

the easier it is for it to fly away

one feather flew, you grief upon

reaching for it, another one goes

Then you have none.

But full of sticky stuff on the other hand

Amelia

The tip

" Assalam, Nora. Sori la ek akak ada terbaca post nora dgn sue n kak az. Akak ingatkan nora dgn sue mmg dpt vet kt umk. Nora nk buat rayuan ek lepas dah masuk sini.? Cani la kan, akak nk bgtau, nora memang betul2 nak ke masuk sini.? Result matrik dulu mcm mana.? Akak nak sarankan, kalau memang nora nekad nak masuk sini, jgn tunggu lepas satu sem ke, satu tahun ke.. Nora datang sini dgn family, buat appointment dgn dekan vet, Dr. Azam. Jumpa dia secara personal, appeal dgn dia. Buat rayuan terus2 depan dia. Jgn ikut cara manual ke surat2 tu semua. Macam tu susah nk dapat.

Akak tau sbb byk classmate akak buat cmtu. Diorg bdk2 diploma yg result tk berapa ok, tp sebab diorg merayu, jumpa dr Azam, diorg dapat masuk sini. Tapi akak ckp awal2 la, dr Azam ni scary sikit. Kena berani depan dia, kena confident. Kena yakinkan dia betul2. So skrg Nora decide la. Nasihat akak, course vet ni ssh. Hence once you decide to be in, there's no way out from here. No giving up, no walking away.  "

Thanks akak Aliya Ros. and Sue, if you're reading this, JOOOOM JUMPA DEKAN VET. Fighting!

Rain Rain Go Away

#currently listening to Missing Piece by David Choi

I accidentally sang out loud (quite loud) without remembering that I'm not alone in this house. Abah belum pergi kerja. I mean, I get it that he just came home from Lebanon on Tuesday. and he didn't go to work yesterday, tapi hari ni? Tak kan tak pergi jgak? Er, whatever.

Its raining, but by the time the kedai-kedai runcit buka, I will go and photostate these sijil and stuff for surat rayuan. Jyeah! Semangat baru, man! haha *gila apa

Gonna feed the animals in the zoo now. Taaa.

*when I say the 'animals', I meant my (8) cats

The singing zoo keeper,

Amelia

Bersyukur

I recite Surah Yaasin so I could relieve my anxious unease mind. Then I read the translation in which I came across one ayat ...
Ayat 73
"....mengapa mereka tidak mahu bersyukur?"

That one sentence slap me hard on my face. I guess I was still wasn't being grateful that I didn't get what I wanted. But a thank you is a must even though it is not what we want.

"Allah nak uji angah lah tu, nak tgk kalau angah bersyukur dgn semua pemberianNya." -Ummi

Allah loves me, thats why He puts me in such state. I shall be a better muslimah. One who will witness more and more obstacles but will fairly see it all as blessings :)

*sorry for the English terbalik, I watched Shakespeare in love just now.

methinks tis a fair play ;)

Amelia

Rant

I don't talk to my Ummi about everything. I mean, I told her about not getting Vet and such. but I didn't talk to her about Wafi. Unless she started asking about him, then I'll have to tell her lah. I managed to tell myself that I CAN DO THIS, I can study Animal Husbandry aaaaaand get to be a Vet later. I AM NOT GIVING UP ON MY DREAM.
All of my friends help out with that part of my problem but I don't know, I'm still in denial with the whole Wafi thing.
Then a voice in my head said,
"Tak pe~ ada hikmah. We are still in contact with each other and stuff. Its not like he's leaving you for some other girl. He's focusing in his studies. You want him to be successful, kan? So, get over him lah, focus on what YOU want to do now."

What do I want? Do you know what I want when I got for UPM last time? I want to go there, but Ummi showed me a PPKS UMK flyer and asked me to apply. I applied. Then, Ummi and Abah opposed to my idea of going to UPM Bintulu.
So I listened to them, siapa nak menyusahkan parents, kan? Here I am, bekas  pelajar PPKS UMK. In which UMK said, kalau dpt 3.5 ke atas, I can apply for Vet. Skrg dah dpt 3.5 pun tak dpt Vet jugak. I feel cheated and betrayed.
Ummi marah, Abah marah. They said, "Baik study kat sini je!" and "Nanti mesti jadi cikgu jugak macam Ummi, bkan boleh dpt kerja sgt dgn degree animal husbandry". I was thinking, "You guys made me go there, kenapa blame me?" I didn't say that out loud. I just hate that they're blaming me. Stop blaming me for being so imperfect and so stupid. All I do is listen to you! I don't want you to blame me. I trust with UMK so that I didn't even think to apply for upu again. Kalau apply, at least I can change my career path and be some sort of Statistician or anything related to Math.

Please. I lost a place to rant on stuff. I don't have someone I'm familiar with to talk to anymore. 

Whatever. I'm gonna appeal for Vet. Let me breathe.

Never okay anymore,

Amelia

The silver lining behind THIS cloud

The more I think about it, the more I believe that Allah has planned all this all along. Who am I to object? So I began listing down all the good things I will when I continue my studies at UMK.

1. Allah tak nak aku boros. Kalau duduk kat Pengkalan Chepa ambil Vet, dekat je dgn bandar. Temptation to shop is high, walaupuan takda byk benda kat Kelantan. Skrg ambil Sains Peternakan, blaja kat UMK kampus Jeli --very, very far from town. Jimat duit simpanan! :D
2. Most of my friends will be studying at Jeli too. Kalau nora tiba-tiba putus harapan, I have them to back me up and puuuuuussh me to success. Haha, I love you guys <3
3. Ada Along kat Jeli. Its a good thing lah. Kalau nak balik, dapat lah naik bas sama-sama. kan? I seriously don't know the way to travel in small small secluded area like Jeli. Err, call me city girl but I never fall too far from town area. I can DO this!
4. Along took the same course as me. Which means, I can ask her to teach me stuff~ Like, so that I can score high pointers so I can transfer to Vet course for next semester. Okay! I am roaring ready to reach my DREAM!
5. 
   

I'll rack my brain again later for more BENEFITS/GOOD THINGS. To be continued. Watch this space, mmkay?

La tahzan. Innallaha ma'ana. (Jangan bersedih. Allah bersama kita.)

Ayu posted this on my fb wall.

Thanks to everyone trying to cheer me up :)

and for those who cared enough to ask me how am I holding on with things. 

Thanks Ainaa. Thanks Nurul.

Thanks Mahir. Thanks Bie. Thanks Sue.

Thanks Ayu.

Thank you endlessly to Ummi for all the support.

and those who are not mention here, thanks. 

I didn't get what I planned. Allah knows best for me.

I realised I have to extend the studying to two more whole years than to those who get DVM Degree straight away. I have a total of 6 years to be a Vet, that includes 

Degree in Animal Husbandry and Master in Vet.

Insya'Allah <3

A pocket full of hope,

Amelia

Missing Piece - David Choi

There is a missing beat

Inside of me

The rhythm of my heart

Hits unevenly

There's a missing piece

Inside of me

I'm annoying

Burung apa?
Burung Murai.


Burung apa?
Burung Murai.



Burung apa?
Burung Murai.


Thanks for bearing with the annoying things I did.

Pathetically Pitiful

I am an alien monsta. Beware~ boo.

Why did I say that?
Because~ mata saya sepet dan bengkak macam alien pun ada.

I maturely getting over this with a smile. I am single but not available thing will keep me away from distractions of reaching closer to Allah.
I guess this is how Allah answered my doa of "Please let me know You a little more. Don't make me do things that You hate, Ya Allah."

Thanks for answering my prayers :)

I guess this is what Ummi said, "I don't lean on anybody else but Allah."
She said it when she realises that she can't trust anyone else or depend on anyone except for Allah.

Brand new sheet of paper,

Amelia

Bad News/Good News situation

You want the bad news first or good news first?

I'll tell you the news in one short sentence. Okay? So listen.

I am RM300 richer but I have no boyfriend any more. 
No, no. I didn't sell him and get the money or anything. Those two information wasn't related but it just happened at the same day.

Money related news
Me and three other PPKS UMK students were invited to
"MAJLIS SAMBUTAN HARI GURU DAN PELANCARAN HARI KECEMERLANGAN AKADEMIK KOLEJ MARA KULIM SESI 2012/2013"

It says so in this letter.

So, Ummi drove us to Kulim, with Jill (our GPS. yes, we named her Jill). Kalau tak da GPS, rasanya kami tak sampai Kulim. Ummi never drives at long distance trips. And we stopped at every 1 hour and a half. Which is the best thing to do every time you feel sleepy.
In Kulim we slept at Hotel Seri Malaysia. Its not Hilton or any thing, but its a place to stay for a night :)

The next day we check out after breakfast and went to the event. And here's a pic of PPKS UMK students with their sijil and envelope of cash <3

What am I gonna do with the money?

 I'm gonna open up a Maybank ASB account lah :)

So here's the sad/bad news.

Single but not available

It took me a few minutes to start to write this part of the post.

*deep breath* professional mode initiation.

On the way home to Kulim, about 4.30pm, I think, Wafi texted me. He made a sad face. Thats it. A sad smiley face. And I thought, this must be bad news. I bravely text back, "Kenapa buat muka sedih?".

He told me that his sister knew about us. And she wants him to focus on his studies before he could think about love. And I was like, "I think you should listen to your sister." 'Cause its the mature thing to do, you know? I regret saying that. But you can't be childish forever.

"Then, kita skrg?"

"Single but not available. Will you wait for me?"

"Yes, forever."

"You can still talk to me about any thing, if you have probs that you can't talk to others."

"You too, tell me anything that you want to share"

Then there was like, no signal for maxis and it didn't send right away. Then Wafi text to my celcom number. "you must be crying right now."

I'm like, DO YOU KNOW THAT ITS HARD NOT TO CRY IN THE CAR WHEN YOU KNOW YOU JUST HAD A BREAK UP, THROUGH A TEXT MESSAGE? I was keeping a straight face because I was sitting next to the driver's seat. I held back every tear but some escaped my eyes. I was trying not to  look weak in front of Ummi. So I blink a few times until the tears are gone. I can't really pretend to be asleep, nanti Ummi pun mengantok. So stayed awake trying to digest what just happened. Then I started to cry again. But don't worry, I'm a pro at this. The last time I cried sitting next to the drivers seat was when I was going to tuition for SPM, and Abah was driving. My parents fought just before we left the house. Its not something you could just forget and go to tuition like nothing happened. Abah didn't see me silent cry.

After some thinking, I thought, the least I deserve was a phone call. Dah lah dpt text je. Gaaaaaaaaaaah. I know, we can't talk in the car anyway. He said he'd call later that night. 

He did. We talked until he fell asleep and I did the same thing I did when I know he's asleep. I talked to him about how I really feel. The best part is that he can't hear me cause he's sleeping. I didn't talk long any way. A few minutes later, he ran out of credit. The call ended.

Oh, which reminds me....Credit.

Letters

I just watched Dear John for the second time. But this time, I actually watched it from the beginning. You know, when you only watch the second half of the movie, you don't actually quite get it. 


The movie made me cried and shout at the tv, "No, John. Don't burn those letters. Don't go."


*deep breaths* Okay, time to get professional. 


Dear John inspired me to talk about my parents. When my dad went to serve the country, in Bosnia, my parents used to write letters to each other. It was hard to actually call. We only get calls from him a few times when he was there. Yes, my dad actually write a letter. He wrote about how he missed us all in Malaysia. Ummi read his letters to us, we were still in kindergarten then. It was only me and Along at that time. It was hard for Ummi. So, we tried super hard to help Ummi out around the house. I guess that's how we feel responsible for things. and my adik-adik are not. 


And! we were sooo into Barbie dolls back then. When Abah is somewhere near a town area, He'll buy us dolls and new doll clothes. We were really looking forward to every time we get mails.  He knows that if Along gets one, I would want one too. Even if its only Along's birthday, I get one pressie too. We used to have a swing in our house, and we'd unwrap the parcel from Abah there. and then bring out a big blanket to cover the swing so that it becomes sort of like a house. Main pondok-pondok lah :) 


It would be nice to write and get letters, huh? If only.

Write to me,

Amelia

Everyday of the week

Monday : Oh, mesti dia penat kat sekolah, baik takyah kacau.

Tuesday : Hari tu dia kata ada ragbi, tiap2 selasa ada ragbi practice kot? Boh ganggu nya eh. Mesti penat.

Wednesday : My sisters are at kokurikulum. dia pun koku jugak lah tu.

Thursday : Malam Jumaat ni..jangan kacau dia nak beribadah tu.

Friday : Last time I call him on a Friday night, he pretended that he isn't doing anything but as I pry more, he was actually doing his presentation for Sejarah. And I feel bad for calling him. Better not call or bother him Fridays. Ever.

Saturday : So many things happen on Saturdays, I mean, its the only time we get our off day, right?

Sunday : Esok nak sekolah. He has to get ready for school the next day. Biar dia tidur awal.

In conclusion, I have no conclusion.

Oh wait. In a nutshell, just wait (like a crazy desperate sucker) for him to text you when he's free. I hate that conclusion. 

Oh well,

Amelia

Quiet time with a book and a cat

I switched off the tv so I could have a quiet time with a book. Since I don't have to worry about Kak alang or Alissa today. They're at school and wont be back until evening. So the house is all mine. Muahaha.


I forgot to mention that the house gets pretty quiet. Well, not too quiet. Fluffy likes to sing. Like, really sing.


So after a few hours burying my nose in the book, I began to lose focus and direct my focus to my cats.
Here's what I get (yeay bullet points):

• Fluffy likes to sing which is translated to "I'm hungry", "Give me attention", "I'm gonna pee here, behind the front door so you pay attention to me" and if he's running down from the stairs 'singing', he's saying : "I saw some creepy weird things upstairs, probably an evil spirit, don't go there."
• Muffin, the mama bear. looks younger than her real age. wait...all cats are?
• Oreo is a white fluff ball...and fat which is so hug-able.
• Jubleg (its javanese or bahasa jawa) means cute and chubby, thats what my Ummi said lah. correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not pure Jawa.
• Shadow : likes to play with her shadow and her own reflection on the floor. Loves to panjat high places. She's the cat spiderman. She hates sunshine. I mean, really. When we took her outside, under the sun, all she does is scratching the front door to get in. But I love her endlessly :)
• Princess : her fur is white but with a dash of gray. She has the most perfect fur ever. So fluffy and so graceful.
• PB & J, which is  Peanut Butter and Jelly. They're both the babies that was born on Chinese New Year, the Year of the Dragon. Ummi thinks they're very energetic compared to other cats in our house because Dragons are fierce. 
• Peanut Butter or PB has brownish, blackish fur. very very manja. My mum mistakes her for being a male. We don't know for sure. At first, her name is Ivy, then its Boboiboy so, we changed it to a unisex name so it wont make her feel like she has a gender problem. Now she's PB.
• Jelly is gray and white. has pink nose. she likes to chase things. and we sometimes call her janggut cause the gray part of fur somehow covered her chin which looks like a beard. But every time Along call her janggut, I'd say Bearded lady. haha, uhm, um. No, not funny. She's too adorable to make fun at :P
• Do you know that cat's pupils will dilate if they take interest in something? Its much cuter when their eyes are that way.
• Pets are trained in their own language or how the owners talk to them. I speak Manglish (Malay-English) to my cats. But if you speak Sarawak malay or even chinese to my cats, I don't think they'd understand.  Like my mum's friend's cat in France, Ummi tried speaking English to them and they didn't respond. Speak French and they're all ears.

If you can't count or confused, I have 8 cats right now. All pure persian. but Ummi said, if Muffin suddenly have another litter of kittens, we probably will be selling them :( Nooooo

Observer,

Amelia

Shut up, malware.

Freaking malware tried to stop me from blogging. Hah! take that! dapat pun kat firefox. I suddenly like you again, firefox. I'm sorry for the times I said that you are slow and that I ditched you for google chrome.

Thanks to Nurul, for she was the one suggesting it. Never occurred to me to try it on a different window.

Saved by Nurul and Firefox,

Amelia

I LOVE YOU

Nifsu Syaaban

"Dari Al-Zuhri bahawa Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam bersabda maksudnya : "Tidak akan masuk syurga bagi yang memutuskan silaturahim".
(Riwayat Al-Imam Muslim)


Dear Allah, forgive me. Help me set aside my ego to beg for forgiveness for which I have wronged.