Rational

It takes me less than 5 seconds to fall in love with this pair of shoes. If I have all the money in the world and eating is not essential, I would definitely buy this straight away. huhu.

But as you grew older you will definitely try to constrain yourself from making rush decisions. When I the person pm-ed me the price I am sooooo heartbroken that they could not be mine. huu. RM144 is a lot when you have no job to support your daily spendings. I could last for 3 weeks of food with that kind of money.

Anyone generous enough to buy me this? haha. Takpaaaaa nanti kot kot ada kasut yg lagi cantik and lagi murah...mana tahu kann? ;) Pandai nk pujuk hati kan. =__=

The Fluttershy

I'm an introvert.

I like to do things alone sometimes. That will be the time for me to just think and listen to myself. Because when you are in a crowd, you tend to listen, eavesdrop on every conversation and try to get as many information as you get. Instead of listening to yourself.

Also, I'm quiet around people I'm not familiar with.  Even if they try to include me into their conversations, I just can’t come up with anything. Maybe I'm just blank at that time. Sometimes I wonder why I'm like that.

I'm the kind of person who would find the colour of the sky as interesting. I like to notice the little things. You know, if you wear a red dress, it’s just a red dress. But if you put on some gold bangles with a pair of wedges, it becomes an outfit. I like to point out to the things I like. Don’t be surprised if you don’t know me and I come up to you and say, “I like your shoes”. Weird I am. Yes.

I walk alone more than I am with a group of people. I don’t mind being by myself. I say this because I know a person who just can’t go anywhere by herself. She just needs someone accompany her everywhere. So if you see me somewhere walking alone, don’t say that I am alone because I get abandon. I'm alone by choice. Not by force. I'm not an outcast.

Plus, when I'm alone, I actually get this feeling at ease because when there’s something wrong, I’d like turn to Allah, instead of ranting to other people. If you go complaining to other people, that would just make you sound ungrateful, kan?

I have no idea where this post is inspired from. Maybe I just need this to justify myself, so I can be left alone to do my on things sometimes. And oh! New semester is coming. New semester : new junior. More people. Crowded. I hate crowded places. Hard to focus.

Wish me luck.

This was on 5th September.*

Choice or Chance?

What determines our destiny? Is it our choice? Or by chance?

In my almost 20 years on earth, I often think that choice determines or fate but as I ponder more, chance has the joystick to this game of life. The part where I get this animal husbandry course instead of Vet, me meeting Wafi, me even moved to Kuching in my Form 3. Most of it is determined by chance.

Sometimes we tried our best but somehow we end up having the crappy controller. In which we have to learn its ways to get better; be better. I mean, we don’t always get our ways but we just have to be flexible and be the best that we can. Why dwell on things that aren't worth to converse over? A healthy discussion would mean having 2 or more people throwing ideas and thoughts on things. If not, it would just be a monologue. Thus, the monologue could be positive or negative, depending on how full is your glass.

I realised I somehow become the glass-is-half-empty-kind of person. Which is not good. Not good at all. Where does all of this negativity is coming from? I used to be the neutral type with a pinch of positivity and smiles. Now I'm in the scale of everything-is-not-good-enough. Ugh, ungrateful much?

I need to flip that switch.

First step? I have to be aware on what face am I putting on. If I am having the frown face, I just have to remind myself to smile, even if it’s not entirely sincere. Being polite is superior to being sincere. But I'm not saying that being sincere is not vital.

Having sincerity is the key to making everything better. I try to be as honest as I can when I'm talking and even writing here in the blog.

I need to get my creative juices going. Ps; I miss you.

Blerggghh

If you don't know how to pronounce that title up there, try making a puking sound. Yeah, thats it.

Sorry that my blog has been kinda blerggh lately. Its not that I don't miss writing here, its just that I have a lazy bone that is just too obese to get this acer connected to the internet. So now that I've shaped up that lazy bone, I might as well take care of this blog huh?

I've been writing/typing a lot in microsoft word, just not here. Lemme just post those pending words right away.

Stay tuned. In ponytails, with pants and white Angry Bird t-shirt. -____- I am such a dork.

Semester 3

My third semester started off okay. I have not-so-packed classes, thus, more time for studying and go to club meetings. I can have my debate meetings and my nutrition club in peace. New resolution for this semester?

• To be more organised in terms of my study area, my bed and my locker. Last year was a disaster. Probably because we were crammed up in a 2 people bedroom with 4 people living in it. I was suffocated. Plus, I don't know where to put all my stuff since space it very limited.
• I want to score better. As in, more than 2.5 PNGS. Heck, gimme more than 3.5 please. Hopefully, I wont disappoint Ummi again. 
• Learn German. Whoot.

More later,

Amelia