Europe

psst. wanna know a secret?

I have a dream of going to Europe just so I could walk their park, breathe their air and see the buildings. Here's another secret; I wanna go there just so I could wear those thick coats and cute boots. Kat Malaysia, tak sejuk. takboleh pakai. I know. its silly.

But its the truth and I cannot lie.

Germany, Paris, Italy, Greece (:

satu hari nanti. For sure.

Amelia

Macam ni lah

I have this uneasy feeling where I kinda feel like crying for no apparent reason.

and this happens every time a day before my first exam paper. Is this some sort of an anxiety attack? I'm a passive aggressive, does that mean I passively have anxiety attacks too? I mean, when other people have this sort of panic attack, they'll be all, "I can't do this, I'm gonna die. I'm too scared." and stuff like that. Maybe my form of panic attack would be the silent one, where I'd be alone, trying to calm my nerve-wrecking soul. And end up crying.

I need a hug.

Thank you.

Breakthrough, finally.

I may or may not be able to say things the way I wanted but I will always try to have the message across.

Dear Nora Amelia,
This is not something new that you hear. But it's something new that got through you, finally.
At times, you will feel like giving up but you find strength and courage to overcome these little fear of failing of yours. Sometimes you hear the same thing again and again yet it meant nothing. It wasn't because that the presenter himself was bad at sharing his or her experiences. Sometimes it means that you are not even trying to understand the important parts in life.
Sometimes it is not even directly given or shared to you. Sometimes Allah wants us to observe everything and take a deep breath and just understand. Allah had showed us a lot of things in life. Ya Allah, banyak sangat cara yang Engkau cuba sampaikan nasihat serta tunjuk ajar. I'm sorry I never really listen before.

Thus, oh dearly self, I hope you'll be better at observing, understanding, learn and eager for more.

Amelia

Sejuk sebelah

The other day, I went to donate my blood. Due to people coming from this hospital. I know I shouldnt be upset at all. Bukan rezeki nak derma darah. I made a mistake of  complaining about how bad the services are. I should have just reported to the portal hospital thingy.  Nak complain kat orang bukan dapat apa2. I mean, after doing so, at least the hospital could tryyy and improve on things that lack. as in...experiences. we are not some lab rats that you could just test on.

I got a blue hand that could not function well for an hour plus during that hour, my right hand was very cold. You could really tell the difference of my sudden body temperature drop.

Lesson learn from this, hmm act! dont just say and complain and cry. ugh. Plus, be careful of where you want to donate your blood. the hospital that came to my institute had experienced nurses but in other fields but not in taking blood. hmm. I heard the MA told them,  "praktikal ni tak macam teori."

I could have lost an arm if they didnt stop the drawing of blood. they lupa to longgar the pressure thingy. mmg lah no bloodflow.  =__=

sekian terima kasih.

Daily Reminders ...

"Sunyinya takda earphone. Takdapat nak dengar lagu"

-Haih bayangkan ada orang kat luar sana pekak. Mereka takdapat dengar. Syukurlah kita ada telinga berfungsi dengan baik.

Tiba-tiba dapat berita dari kawan yang ada 2 orang pelajar UMK mati lemas. Innalillah. Both of them are my age. 

Berita Universiti (Official Pages)

Dua Penuntut UMK Mati Lemas Di Lata Renyok

Jeli, 15 Nov : Dua penuntut Universiti Malaysia Kelantan (UMK) Kampus Jeli telah meninggal dunia akibat mati lemas ketika berkelah di Lata Renyok, Jeli, Kelantan.

Kejadian menyedihkan itu diberitakan telah berlaku pada petang hari ini, Jumaat, 15 November 2013.

Dua mangsa berkenaan adalah Azem Sameer, 21 tahun yang berasal dari Klang, Selangor manakala seorang lagi mangsa dikenali sebagai Zulfikar.

Kedua-dua mangsa adalah penuntut Tahun Dua Jurusan Sains Pembangunan Produk UMK Jeli.

Menurut sumber, kedua-dua mangsa tidak dapat menyelamatkan diri setelah lemas ketika mandi-manda dan rakan-rakan lain turut tidak dapat membantu mangsa ekoran arus deras.

Jenazah kedua-dua mangsa bagaimanapun selamat ditemui dan dibawa ke Hospital Jeli untuk dibedah siasat.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=604778882915525&set=a.318220661571350.74407.317556918304391&type=1&theater&notif_t=photo_comment

DariNYA kita datang kepadaNYA kita kembali. Al Fatihah.. Takziah buat kedua-dua keluarga mangsa.

Alhamdulillah, aku masih bernafas hari ni.

Keep Holding On

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on

There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Avril Lavigne

Manja

I've once heard Ummi told me that, " kalau Allah uji kita, bukannya sebab Allah nak susahkan kita, tapi tanda Allah nak tunjuk sayang kat kita. Macam kalau budak-budak bercinta, yang boyfriend dia tu mesti suka sakat, kacau nakal dengan girlfriend tu. Saja nak bermanja. Macam tu jugak hubungan kita dengan Allah. Allah nak tunjuk yang Allah sayang kat kita ni. Nak bermanja jugak :) "

After hearing this from Ummi, I had a long thought and it find it funny because it is so true. I guess this is another way to look into things. Ya Allah, banyak sangat nikmat yang Engkau berikan. Aku bersyukur.

I can never finish counting my blessings of everything that has given to me. Do you know, every time we complain once about something, its better to count 10 blessings after that, that way, we'll stay grateful each day.

For example;

1. Ya Allah, terima kasih kerana berikan aku sepasang mata yang cantik. Aku mampu melihat keindahan ciptaan Mu, aku mampu melihat warna-warna yang aku suka, aku mampu melihat orang-orang yang aku sayang. 
2. Aku mempunyai hidung yang bantu aku untuk bernafas. Allah, you had given me my nose so I could breathe this oxygen, this free oxygen that without it, I may not able to live. For some people, mereka tak dapat bernafas dengan baik, mereka perlukan alat bantu pernafasan.
3. Ya Allah, kau berikan aku mulut untuk aku menzahirkan isi hati ku. I can communicate. Aku mempunyai bibir yang cantik, tidak sumbing. Aku boleh senyum kepada ramai orang, aku boleh makan makanan yang sihat, aku boleh membaca AlQuran :)
4. Ya Allah, I have these pair of ears, I can hear voices of the people I love. I can hear Ummi  and Abah's voices, Wafi's singing, my sister's laughs. Alhamdulillah. I can listen to music, I can listen to talks that motivate me, inspire me.
5. I have these pair of hands, complete with 10 fingers. I can do a lot of things with these hands. That if one of my fingers is gone, I may feel difficult to work. So, with this, I thank You Allah.
6. I have a pair of legs. I can commute from one place to another. Ya Allah, without these pair of legs, I may need the help of people, I may need to use a wheelchair. For that, I thank You Allah, for giving me such great legs that never go tired whenever I need to walk somewhere.
7. Ya Allah, I'm not that tall, I'm not that short. I can always say that there's always someone taller that me, and there's always someone shorter than me. I am petite. I love this height that is fit for this whole body. I can fit in a lot of clothes that I love. I can never ask for more. Alhamdulillah
8. I have a family that is just right for me. I get all my love and care from them. They are not perfect, they're not broken, its just needs a little stitching and healing. I know that time will heal every thing. But if you are not willing to work for that, it may not recover as quickly. Ya Allah, apa-apa pun, I am so blessed.
9. I have friends that are so caring and supportive of me. They encourage me to be better. I get inspired by their stories everyday. I learn from their stories that makes me better myself.
10. Ya Allah, thank you for giving me such great people into my life. Thank you for leading me and Wafi to find each other. Ya Allah, aku berharap hubungan kami berkekalan sehingga ke syurga. Ya Allah, terima kasih. I found someone who loves me for being me. This guy actually love my flaws and quirky aspects, just like how I love his. hehe Ya Allah, cepatkanlah jodoh kami. :P

I've once cried (banyak kali, actually) because I realise how fortunate I am. I have this body that works perfectly, Alhamdulillah. For some people, they may have a few obstacles to overcome, they may not be able to hear, see, or use their hands and legs in their daily lives. Just imagine if one day, Allah took one of these blessings away from you, the person may or may not accept this with ease.

This same goes for when we are sick. Kita akan merungut atau akan bersyukur? Most of us would not feel blessed. But do you know, every time we fell ill, Allah wants to test us whether would we lean on to Allah or do we trust those pills even more? Think about it, Allah gave us health, Allah gave us sickness. So, if we want to get well, there's nothing wrong if we make a doa to Allah. "Ya Allah, sembuhkanlah penyakit aku ini." Its as simple as that.

My point here is, when Allah gave us obstacles, Allah is actually trying to make us strive, to better ourselves. Syukur dengan segala dugaan. Mesti akan ada hikmah. Syukur dengan semua nikmat diberikan.

Contemplating,

Amelia

Title : Aku pengecut

I told Wafi that I miss writing here in my blog and that I would start writing when I feel like I have a topic to write about.

Its not like I haven't thought of anything; its because I had thought about a lot of things and these thoughts got mixed and jumbled up together that I don't know what to write about. See how my mind is so disorganized?

Its a week midterm break. I have a few things to cross off my checklist. Some of it are reviewing/studying my chapters for all subjects, getting a Marimo and research for this topic for our next debate meeting.

Speaking of debate meetings. I don't think I want to involve anymore. It was fun at first but when it comes to projecting your voice on certain topics that you are not familiar with, you began to shrink and shrivel to miniature size. This is where confidence play the part. You can say anything and people believe you...if you have the confidence to lie.

Even how many times you tell yourself that you are better and you can do it and you can fake it to  make it, you would still be this 'pengecut'. You know, there will always be this 'suara halus' or this alternate self saying that you can't do this, you can't achieve that and whatnot.

After a while of running away, and dodging the word 'pengecut', I realise that I made reasons why I don't want to do this and that. I mean, I told myself that I don't wanna join debating again because it discusses things that I don't think I care about. You talk, you argue and point fingers. And even if they do talk about the things that I care about, I would still be at the losing team. I keep telling myself that I'm not good enough. I know I'm not.

Sometimes you just need one person to believe in you. Just one.

Thank you

Amelia

Going

Its not that I have nothing to say. Its just that I think I should only say good good things. No badmouthing anyone. I need to get out of this environment.

Oh what have I become.

Oh Darling

Rational

It takes me less than 5 seconds to fall in love with this pair of shoes. If I have all the money in the world and eating is not essential, I would definitely buy this straight away. huhu.

But as you grew older you will definitely try to constrain yourself from making rush decisions. When I the person pm-ed me the price I am sooooo heartbroken that they could not be mine. huu. RM144 is a lot when you have no job to support your daily spendings. I could last for 3 weeks of food with that kind of money.

Anyone generous enough to buy me this? haha. Takpaaaaa nanti kot kot ada kasut yg lagi cantik and lagi murah...mana tahu kann? ;) Pandai nk pujuk hati kan. =__=

The Fluttershy

I'm an introvert.

I like to do things alone sometimes. That will be the time for me to just think and listen to myself. Because when you are in a crowd, you tend to listen, eavesdrop on every conversation and try to get as many information as you get. Instead of listening to yourself.

Also, I'm quiet around people I'm not familiar with.  Even if they try to include me into their conversations, I just can’t come up with anything. Maybe I'm just blank at that time. Sometimes I wonder why I'm like that.

I'm the kind of person who would find the colour of the sky as interesting. I like to notice the little things. You know, if you wear a red dress, it’s just a red dress. But if you put on some gold bangles with a pair of wedges, it becomes an outfit. I like to point out to the things I like. Don’t be surprised if you don’t know me and I come up to you and say, “I like your shoes”. Weird I am. Yes.

I walk alone more than I am with a group of people. I don’t mind being by myself. I say this because I know a person who just can’t go anywhere by herself. She just needs someone accompany her everywhere. So if you see me somewhere walking alone, don’t say that I am alone because I get abandon. I'm alone by choice. Not by force. I'm not an outcast.

Plus, when I'm alone, I actually get this feeling at ease because when there’s something wrong, I’d like turn to Allah, instead of ranting to other people. If you go complaining to other people, that would just make you sound ungrateful, kan?

I have no idea where this post is inspired from. Maybe I just need this to justify myself, so I can be left alone to do my on things sometimes. And oh! New semester is coming. New semester : new junior. More people. Crowded. I hate crowded places. Hard to focus.

Wish me luck.

This was on 5th September.*

Choice or Chance?

What determines our destiny? Is it our choice? Or by chance?

In my almost 20 years on earth, I often think that choice determines or fate but as I ponder more, chance has the joystick to this game of life. The part where I get this animal husbandry course instead of Vet, me meeting Wafi, me even moved to Kuching in my Form 3. Most of it is determined by chance.

Sometimes we tried our best but somehow we end up having the crappy controller. In which we have to learn its ways to get better; be better. I mean, we don’t always get our ways but we just have to be flexible and be the best that we can. Why dwell on things that aren't worth to converse over? A healthy discussion would mean having 2 or more people throwing ideas and thoughts on things. If not, it would just be a monologue. Thus, the monologue could be positive or negative, depending on how full is your glass.

I realised I somehow become the glass-is-half-empty-kind of person. Which is not good. Not good at all. Where does all of this negativity is coming from? I used to be the neutral type with a pinch of positivity and smiles. Now I'm in the scale of everything-is-not-good-enough. Ugh, ungrateful much?

I need to flip that switch.

First step? I have to be aware on what face am I putting on. If I am having the frown face, I just have to remind myself to smile, even if it’s not entirely sincere. Being polite is superior to being sincere. But I'm not saying that being sincere is not vital.

Having sincerity is the key to making everything better. I try to be as honest as I can when I'm talking and even writing here in the blog.

I need to get my creative juices going. Ps; I miss you.

Blerggghh

If you don't know how to pronounce that title up there, try making a puking sound. Yeah, thats it.

Sorry that my blog has been kinda blerggh lately. Its not that I don't miss writing here, its just that I have a lazy bone that is just too obese to get this acer connected to the internet. So now that I've shaped up that lazy bone, I might as well take care of this blog huh?

I've been writing/typing a lot in microsoft word, just not here. Lemme just post those pending words right away.

Stay tuned. In ponytails, with pants and white Angry Bird t-shirt. -____- I am such a dork.

Semester 3

My third semester started off okay. I have not-so-packed classes, thus, more time for studying and go to club meetings. I can have my debate meetings and my nutrition club in peace. New resolution for this semester?

• To be more organised in terms of my study area, my bed and my locker. Last year was a disaster. Probably because we were crammed up in a 2 people bedroom with 4 people living in it. I was suffocated. Plus, I don't know where to put all my stuff since space it very limited.
• I want to score better. As in, more than 2.5 PNGS. Heck, gimme more than 3.5 please. Hopefully, I wont disappoint Ummi again. 
• Learn German. Whoot.

More later,

Amelia

THBT IKBP should be an annual event :)

In spirit of being the commitee member for IKBP 2013, I would say, despite being oh so very new at hosting a debate tournament, UMK did a good job. Thanks to our very own founders of UMK Desperate Debaters. Fert, Kak Lavan, Kak Shiyam, Kak Martina, Kak Hema, Colin. And of couse Kak Veron, even if she couldnt be there during the tourney.

As for personal experience, I would be the one in the TABS room, which isnt that much work anyway. The perks? I get to be in the same rooms as the core adjudicators. Meaning; they know me. Wekk.
Im new at this debate stuff but begin to notice familiar faces that alwaaaaays win the tourneys. After the tournament ends, the chief adju would be posting the TABS in Malaysian Debaters group in fb. That would be the most appropriate place for you to find your competition and to look for any tournaments available. Note: you will be stalked! What's TABS? the score sheet and the speaker's scores.

I like to debate. I just havent found my voice yet. I will. Soon. Being with the awesome UDD, it has been a wonderful time. Hope we'll be better in the next IKBP.

hmm. Here's a thought though; why would you even debate,  because when after the debate is over, no action is done? I couldnt understand the dire need to that. It will be all talk and no action. In both Asian Parlimentary style and British Parlimentary style, it will take up about 56 minutes per debate round. 7 minutes per speaker. And after the verdict, telling which team has the better arguments, its not like the ideas and arguments are being supplied to the gov to really make the country a better place to live in. Sure, variations of arguments and discussions will be thrown into the debate but the point of all that? Please clearly explain this to me.

With this motion, I gladly propose.

Hapuslah

There's just a lot going on lately.
Sometimes you feel like you're in a bottle. You can't go out. There's no escape.
Ramadhan ke tak,
Ya Allah, lindungilah diri ku, keluargaku dari gangguan jin, syaitan serta iblis.

Coping with Uncertainty

There's always a point in your life where you just stop and think. What do I really want in life?
I mean, if you know what to want, then Allah will guide you in that.

There was a time in my life where I know what I want. So it was smooth sailing all the way. Then, it didn't go as planned. I guess, Allah has better plans for me.

When I was taking SPM, my target was...UPM UPM UPM. So I could get into Vet. I don't get to enjoy weekends because I was at tuition just to score my SPM.
Alhamdulillah, I did get UPM Bintulu. But everyone never wanted me to go that far from home. Then, I entered PPKS UMK or UMK's science entrepreneurship foundation, trying to get into Vet. I kick butt at exams and scored well. I mean, dapat anugerah kecemerlangan akademik upon graduating from PPKS. That has to mean something, right? Allah helped me in so many ways. Tapi takdapat Vet, it wasn't my rezeki.
Now, when I'm on animal husbandry course, I guess its blurry. I don't know if I want to continue my masters in Vet after my degree. I don't know if that's possible. I learn things other than just education at UMK. There was a shifting of perceptions on things. So basically, I told myself, a degree is just a piece of paper. You can go on and create jobs for people instead of working for someone else.

Ummi was against this of course. Awak ingat dgn degree awak tu, awak boleh dapat kerja? Kenapa tak jadi cikgu je? Awak dapat English, Addmaths A+. You can teach that. Kalau tak pun, pergi lah jadi Accountant. Anak kawan Ummi dapat Addmaths biasa2 je pun boleh jadi accountant. Duduk lah dalam office, dapat gaji. Awak change your course lah. Go apply using your SPM result.

So what happens to my 2 years of hardwork? Hilang je?

Hmm. When will you get to decide what you're going to do with life? I thought you're old enough for all this? Ummi expects us to be grown ups but she has trouble in letting us grow up.

Kerja untuk duit atau kerja untuk impian?

I can't sleep :'(

Toothbrush

I accidentally left my toothbrush at my Nenek's house after spending the weekend there. Ugh.
So after having my Sahur this morning, I rampage the bags and hope that I'll find my toothbrush. Alas, takda.

This got me thinking. What do you do when you lost your toothbrush? Logically, I would just use my finger and put toothpaste on and brush. Later, I'd go to the convenience store and  get a new toothbrush. I know, as if the junk and stuff from my mouth are removed when I use my finger brush =____=

Then, another thought occurred, what do the people, who have lived before the toothbrush was invented, do? How do they brush their teeth? Do they even brush their teeth? What about toothpaste? Tell meeeeeee, I'm curious but I'm lazy to do a google search.

Anywayyy, on that visit at kampung, there's a reflexologist live nearby Nenek's house. So, we went to check it since Ummi's been having some problems with her legs and stuff. I have a go and have a massage myself. Let me tell you this, its not as pleasant as having a massage. Plus, I got black swollen parts on my leg and pain.

On the up side, my wrist which was injured playing ice skating last week is healing. It's not healed yet, but its getting there. YEAY.

Its kinda cool actually. You get to know your body through your own feet. Each point of your leg represents a part of your body. The person didn't actually massaged my wrist to get my urat and stuff to be aligned, but massaged on my feet. Which, btw, hurts.

I get to know what's happening with my body too.

• Pernafasan pendek. or shortness of breath. Something to do with my lungs lah.
• Leg cramps. The reflexologist actually pin point the parts and the reason why I got those black ugly swollen parts. 
• White discharge. Peranakan.
• Need to 'kurang makan manis'. =____= How can I be apart from sugary things?
• Gastric

Hope things will go well.

Toodles,

Amelia

Perfect Timing

Sometimes the correct words need to be used within the perfect moment. If I really need a hug now, I need it for that moment only. Getting it later wont affect me. And after the time has passed, you may or may not have your chance again.

I can't afford to be treated like this.

I'm writing. Letters. Alphabets.

"Abah, you're supposed to be at work. Its 9am. Log off from facebook" -____-

Okay, done with Youtube for today. And Facebook. Logged off from that too.
Yeah, haven't really wake up yet. I still have my bed hair, in which I tried half heartedly to comb out the tangles.

Enough about me being unattractive.

I reread the last post I posted here and it included the word "letter."

So, the post was actually a reminder for me to blog about or to do. Sue me. I made my posts into my to-do list.

I had an idea of writing myself a letter so that I have some sense of advice on things from myself when  certain situation occurs in my life.
The number one letter I would write to myself is for when a new semester comes. I am usually this girl who would be very very enthusiastic to start out the new semester but gradually in time the enthusiasm just decline to very low. So I have to think of something that wouldn't have that Hangat-hangat tahi ayam spirit in me.

Next would be a letter for when Final exams are just around the corner. I shouldn't have any last minute studying. Just gradual learning and understanding in classes. I mean, if you have at least picked up a few things in classes, maybe after those classes I could start pick up the bits of debris of hard things and actually go see the lecturers.

Huh, this is getting long and I know most of you hate to read long paragraphs. I'm putting the list in point form. YEAY.

• Eliminating Procrastination.
• Finding that positive vibe. (When I feel sad or blue or things weren't being right)
• Last minute assignments. (I panicked a lot, and when these things happen, I don't know how to prioritize and I froze, end up not doing anything)
• Pink of health. (When I'm sick. I was just being ironic.)
• Birthdays.
• Wafi. (Just because. You know he's busy and stuff, I don't have to be so clingy on to him. -___-)

I'm gonna type it out and print it and put it into separate envelopes and read it when those situation happens. Wish me luck on writing those letters.

This is not a crazy idea, right?

Amelia

noTa

letter.
cam.
books.
pillow.
sweater.
HIMYM.

Im not running

But I might. If acknowledgements are not there.

Please get the hint.

Cookie crumbs on my bed

I have a theory that my smiling muscles are not working any more. I have smile a lot less than before. I'm starting to worry even more when I realise that I always kerut dahi at a lot of things now. I don't wanna mold my face into that. Lines and wrinkles. I have difficulties in letting go, even to the smallest bits that had never mattered before. What is wrong with me?

And lately I have this very heavy hurt feeling on my chest and it got worse when I think contemplate on things. I should stop now.

Amelia

Telenovela

Hola.

No, I'm not taking Spanish next semester. Wish I could. Wish this university would offer it. But hey, if you really want something, you should go for it. Thus, I shall have an attempt in learning Spanish, off the internet, or whilst watching telenovela or even go buy a language dictionary on it. Hmmm.

I've watched telenovela before. If you guys remember back in 2000 or 2001, there's this telenovela called "El amor no es como lo pintan". I just googled that. haha. It means, Love is not as it looks like. Baru tahu maksud -____-

Anywayy, my Nenek loves watching all that drama! Besides, it was actually Malay dubbed. Though it seems weird listening malay words coming out of a latino woman. I always accompany her, watching it, helps in conversations. 

I've also watched Lus Clarita about an orphan (watched this with Along everyday after school with milo ice cream ummi made). and another telenovela called Catalina y Sebastian. 

Tak ingat jalan cerita but I love memorising the titles. Especially the long ones. haha.

I can't even watch Youtube now that the faculty has limited the internet access and block Youtube contents. Why must you take away the things I love? OHWHYY.

I want to pronounce words correctly. Hey, do you know that pronunciation is spelled with a U, not an OU? Its pronUnciation. I think spellings are great. Yes, I'm a nerd. A dork. I have 'anak cikgu' syndrome. Talk to you more about this Anak cikgu syndrome later. 

Hasta la vista,

Amelia

VLOG - VIDEO LOGS? Whaa?

I know someone is waiting for me to post something in my blog because it has been so long since I had. (Should that sentence end with Had or Have? I haven't taken English classes for 2 semesters now. I miss that. My sentences has a lot of grammatical errors now. Ugh /)

Anywayy, I realise that most of my post are actually what my thoughts for the day. But you know, I kinda have thoughts and wish that I could blog about them right away, and then I forget about it and the thoughts drifted apart. Oh wow, that is a long sentence.

So, after seeing so much of MorganPaigeLoves in Youtube, (I'm not trying to copy or anything but yeah, I might try Vlogging). I don't know the function of that bracket -___-

I was thinking, you only lived once and why not trying new things, I mean, you might end up liking it. Do not limit yourself. But you know, its like, I can sense that I will have awkwardness in front of the camera or webcam. I don't like my voice being recorded, I will probably sound like a cartoon character. I'm gonna break the walls between my awkwardness and embrace it. Hell yeahh

I will try this! Its gonna be great. S'well. I think it will be a good idea to try it on my 20th birthday which will be on October. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to post it in Youtube. I don't know if its safe enough. I still have that paranoia in me. I know I told Wafi that I've surpassed that. But I guess it still has itsy bits in me. I guess that means that I will have tons of video updates in my notebook folder and if it crashes, all the video updates will be gone. Perish. Forever.

OHMY. I have to post it in Youtube. Or I could still save it in my external harddisk. But then when people copy stuff from it, people will see it. NOOO IMNOTREADYYET.

Lets just hope that my precious notebook will not crash and die unexpectedly. Then maybe if I don't plan posting it on Youtube, I would probably save it and have my children watch it (when I have some lah). It will be like HIMYM but without the storytelling because I have my videos yeay.

But do not worry, my fellow imaginary readers, I will still continue to blog here. Maybe. I don't know what future I will have~ Boo~ spooky

Amelia

End transmission !@#$%

1st June Study Week

The cost of living in Kuala Lumpur is basically expensive.
Zalim: meletakkan sesuatu bukan pada tempatnya.

We were eating out, at Sri Hartamas. In which we had just arrived from Kelantan. Me and Along went to perform our Maghrib prayers.
"Awak, lpas kita solat kita kena bgtau Abah. Wajib. Tanggungjawab kita tau."
After that, we told Abah. And I'm glad I did. Macam Alimin kata, buat apa nak malu kalau apa yang kita nak bgtau adalah something yg baik. Malu tu boleh, tapi malu bertempat.

Ya Allah, banyak ilmu baru aku pelajari dari insan2 luarbiasa Kelab Nutrisi ni. Thank you Allah sebab jodohkan aku dgn Kelab Nutrisi. :)

-Amelia

Measures

I do not wish to have happiness to be tied up in another person. I am happy as I decide to be. I want a bittersweet life. One where I would be able to cry when I remember sad. Then I would be able to smile when I remember happiness. There should be a balance to it.

I want a switch button. ON OFF whenever I feel like it. Or maybe a limit to how much I switch in a day.

That would be helpful if I feel like moping the whole day.

Imposter

I have always wanted the best. But I never measured myself as being the best there is. I mean, do you compare me with others and wish you had chosen them instead? Am I worth the wait? Yelah, comparisons are easily made once you've had the taste of perfection.

Sometimes I question myself, "Kau. Kau layak ke?"

I'd try whatever I can to prove myself. But I will never know the real answer.

And if you say that I am as good as you think I am, I have a fear that I couldn't live up to that expectation.
I still have my shy side which are sometimes are being misunderstood as being a snob. But yelah, you cannot control everyone's way of thinking. Only Allah can. We just have to show the best image we could potray. Being as honest as possible.

What if
Aku bertepuk sebelah tangan?
Aku syok sendiri?
Aku hanyalah mainan?

-Insecurity

Idea

I remember something that Leonardo de Caprio said in Inception. Well not the exact words lah, but more or less its like this; when you have programmed your mind with an idea, it never goes away. Sometimes you wont even know if its reality or the dreams.

Lets say you imagine yourself up on stage, receiving the honor of being in the Dean's list. You programmed your mind to have that idea. Here's an interesting thing about your brain; your brain can see images that you imagine. It could not tell the difference between a memory or your imagination. So when you daily imagine the dreams you want, it might come true because your brain thinks its real. Its that simple but not a lot of people discover it.

People I surround with nowadays keep talking about dreams. What to achieve..why do you want to achieve it..why is it important that you achieve it. Things like that.

When I said I want to do my masters in vet, I want to do it because I want it to be easier when I later own a poultry farm. Hee takperlu nk panggil vet dah. I realised that getting a masters in vet is not my destination but is a part of the journey. Its not my WHY but its actually my HOW.

More about it later ;)
Amelia

Pushed rights

You are entering my comfort zone.
I usually write down stuff in my gold diary but somehow I liked it better when I type out my feelings here. Gosh.

I am such a PUSH OVER.
"Jangan sampai awak dipijak kepala."

I know I know, I have to step up and be stronger everyday. I have to have principles.

Tapi, aku. Layak ke?

Just because I'm an optimist, it does not mean that I'm naive. I am not. I can think clearly, I just don't have the heart to tell you, 'No'.

Tapi jangan lah pulak sampai orang nak pijak kepala. Takpa, dah settle dah semua. Abaikan.

Then my mind wondered, I realised that the voice in my head is not mine. Its saying the things that I'd like to hear but I know that is not me.

"Hey, Nora Amelia."

Where are you? Who are you? Show yourself.

Are you scared? Please don't hide yourself. 

Do you know why everyone is 'hiding'? People are judged excessively due to their awkward sense of living, walking, expressing and whatnot.

Which lead me to this: are we supposed to mould into the community that have the same kind of characteristics? Where's the individualism in that? What is individualism anyway? Why can't I do what I want without having someone to judge me?

Everyone is afraid of perceptions. Of what others think of you. But so what? You ARE what you THINK you are. Not what others think of you. 

I HAVE THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE. Choosing to : what to wear, what to dream, what to do. Basic human rights lah, so hear this, people all over the world: DON'T TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY. I am what I am. You do not define me.

Give me my human rights.

Amelia 

Short and Sweet

Assalamualaikum.

Today I'm just gonna say what's on my mind:
1. I miss Ummi.
2. I think my will power to strive on what I believe in has increased.

Moving on to my first point, let me just say, Ummi is currently at Beijing with a fieldtrip with her school. In which I think is really cool. Yesterday after I performed my Maghrib prayer, I prayed an wish Ummi is here so I could tell her everything that's going on. I feel like theres a dire need for me to share everything to Ummi.  I wanted to call but then I remembered the fact that she is not in Malaysia, so mahal lah call.
Subhanallah, you know what happened next? Baru je terfikir pasal Ummi, then I received a Whatsapp from Ummi. She had sent me a picture of her at The Great Wall of China. Huuu Allah dengar doaku.

Orang kata, kalau rindu kat seseorang, kita letak tangan di dada, baca Al-Fatihah kepada orang tu. Semoga orang tu tahu yang kita rindu kat dia.

Next, I feel that there is a change in me that may cause me to stop and say: I am never giving up. I mean, let me tell you, whenever I feel like there's an obstacle ahead, I would avoid it in anyway I could. But now I realised that how many times you avoid it, Allah will still grant you that obstacle but in a slightly different way.
Dulu, aku selalu berpendapat, tak mampu, takpelah. Takperlu teruskan. Then, you will still be
But in this Semester, I faced 2 challenges that is regarding my plan to do fast track in my degree. Mula2 kelas clash, sekarang I actually terlepas 1 semester to do SIEP.
Sekarang everytime I feel like giving up, there's always one person (tak kisah lah siapa), ONE person that says to me, "Don't give up, Nora. I know you can do this." Its like Allah is trying to give me signals through that ONE person.

I want to be that ONE person that pulls you out of the river and gives you CPR. The saviour that could change a person's perception on the things he/she is going through. Cuba bayangkan, you are down on your knees, just one act away from giving up, then a person comes up to you and pull you up and say, "Walk. I know you can. Move on. Doesn't matter how slow you move, the least you could do is move" If there are a lot of people doing this act of kindness, I'm sure no one would even have any ideas of giving up. Kan kan kan?

Alhamdulillah, syukur. Kita masih mampu hidup, mampu untuk bernafas lagi hari ini.

Amelia

Achieve when you Believe

This title is sooo cheesy, though its true :)

eh nee wei.
Big news. BIG NEWS.

So far, I got to be in two senior classes : Poultry Industry with Year 2 students, Animal Health with Year 4 students.
I managed to be active in Nutrition Club, in which I will definitely open up my own club soon. SOON.
I am also an active debater for UMK Desperate Debater (UDD).

Plus, I am the Naib Pengerusi 2 for Club of Animal Science Students.
I have never been a leader, except for being the Penolong Ketua Kelas in darjah 3. -___-
Can I handle this? YES!

This is only March. 2013 is off to a good start! I'm loving it!
Ya Allah, bantulah aku untuk menguruskan masa dengan baiknya. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan harianku. Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk melalui ujian-ujian mu.

Oh! there's also an activity by the Nutrition Club that I am dying to share: DREAM BOARD
Its not silly to dream. and its not silly to play arts and crafts and paste your dreams on a piece of cardboard.
Wanna know why?
When you hang that Dream Board up that wall, you will look at it  every single day, you will feel motivated to strive for it.
Lagipun, apa yang kita fikir, apa yang kita rasa, apa yang kita lakukan...semua itu DOA. Kita doa untuk capai kita punya impian. Insya'Allah tercapai juga nanti.

Wanna see my dream board? Its not that complete 'cause I haven't paste 'every dream I have on my mind' into the piece of cardboard. But here is the sneak peak..

Whatever that we think, we feel, we do..its all prayers to Allah.

hehe 07.07.2020

cottage house for Ummi

Wallabies and the Lady Gauldian Finch 

AUSTRALIAAAAAA !

So what I'm gonna say, you may heard it before from other people but I'm gonna say it again.

Dare to Dream. I dare you.

I dare you to dream as big as possible.

I dare you to list down every thing that you want to achieve in life.

I dare you to find something that could make you go on, make you strive to get all of those dreams.

I DOUBLE DARE you to make your own dream board. 

I started to put pictures of the things I want when I was in Kolej Mara Kulim. I look at the pictures of the Polaroid camera and even my Samsung Galaxy Note. Now I have both of those things. Happy tak?

Believe then you can achieve. Even if there are things in life that you feel is trying to bring you down. Just smile to that. Remember: you are STRONG. nothing can disturb your peace of mind. (The Optimist Creed)

I have my headphones on but not listening to any music. 

Whaa?

Amelia

YOU ARE AWESOME

Sukaaa sgt MEGAFASTRACK. Insya'Allah I'm planning on opening my own nutrition club. Heee. Lepas ni nak pi jmpaa kak aishah nak tunjuk proposal untuk Abah. Jeng3. I haven't actually talked to abah again but I wanted to finish my proposal and make sure its all ready for abah to read. YEEEEAH I CAN DO THIS.
This could be my contribution to my community :)
And I remember that Wafi had told me that I couldn't be some lecturer or even a teacher. Yang byk brdepan dgn orang.
But hey Mr Abdul Wafi, I'm gonna show you that I can! Saya lebih besar dari cabaran saya. Im gonna help a lot of people improve their lifestyle. Heee. Siapa excited angkat tangan!
*raise hand* SAYA!
*Kitak kerja depan komputer jak la.
Hmm..kenak dpan komputer jak?
*Sbb kelak xdaa jmpa org yg nak tackle kitak.
:)
Mr Abdul Wafi- kitak seorang yg sweet and romantic. Ngee bersyukur sgt dapat jmpa kitak. Oh btw, text me as soon as you read this! Iboh menghilang lama gilak.
-Amelia

MEGA

Im in a bus to Shah Alam. Bukit Kiara specificly. (why do my updates seem to be in a bus lately?)
Going to Megafastrack for gathering of all Nutrition Club members in Malaysia. Wow wow. Seronok tak?

Eh nee wei, the event will start at 11am today and end at 5pm. Then we'll travel all the way back to UMK. Though I have a lot if things going on with the assignments and quizzes...don't get me wrong, I am not procrastinating. I just feel like I dont wanna miss this event. Mana tahu makin tambah ilmu kita mengenai kesihatan, mind health n maybe get a little motivation. Who knows, kan? Oh btw, Along is here too! Best kan? Though we have a little problem with what will people call us...sbb the nutrition club in umk have known me as Nora for so long. Awkward much?

More updates later kays?
-Amelia

Banjir tapi takda air?

See the irony?
Psst. Im at my friend's house. Umk jeli has a water shortage. Paip besar bocor or something like that. What Im doing here is just to take a nice bath before going to class tomorrow morning. Here's the catch, my friend's house is about an hour from kampus jeli. Hahaha.
And oh btw, don't tell Ummi I was in a car with my friends then drove in the middle of the night with no street lights to be found. She would kill me if she knew.

Yg penting, we arrived safely at my friend's house. Kan kan?

Masham
-Amelia

In the bus

Im in the bus to Tanah Merah right now. After observing, I spot a girl who clips her fingernail in the bus. Which I think is just the most inappropriate place for doing that. I mean, ew.
Then while searching for a place to sit, I asked a girl if the seat next to her is taken. She said yes. And Im like, whaa? Then why isn't anyone there?
After a few bus stops of picking and dropping ppl off, a guy popped into the bus. Gladly sitting next to the girl.

So Im asking you this, would you give up the seat you're saving for a guy you're meeting for another girl in a bus?
If you ask me, I would give up that seat. I mean, that guy mampu nak berdiri lah. So what that you can't sit next to him. I know that you guys are gonna go out on a date anyways.

Ugh injustice much?

Rant
-Amelia

The Busy Bee

I'm not a bee but I'm kinda busy. I'm scared. I'm taking senior's subjects. Dulu Nurul teman, skrg tak. Takpa, bila lagi nk berdiri atas kaki sendiri, kan?

Its only the first week and I have already got a presentation due on the second week. I am always been a wee bit too nervous for presentations. Ni pulak presentation with the final year students, me, being the only freshie among those 10 ppl in the class. and I'm the first group to present. Oh, the horror.

Non the less, I'm grateful that they're being nice to me. Bersyukur sgt! Alhamdulillah. Tak perlu nak takut sgt lah, Allah ada. Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk meneruskan pembelajaranku di sini dengan semangat yang baru setiap hari. Amin. Doakan yea :)

Then a friend of mine came into my room last night. It was about 10.30pm and I was already sleepy! Awal gila dah mengantok.
She said, "Awak ada masalah , ek?"
"Takda lah, Nora okay je. Kenapa ckp cmtu?"
"Ye lah, pagi tadi pun awak cm muram je. Skrg pun. Selalu awak ceria."

I guess I forgot to smile nowadays. Reminder: You are never too busy to SMILE :) okay, got it! hehe

I am strong, nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

Amelia

Ruined result

So here's my result for semester 1. Oh the horror.
What happened? I used to get 3.5 and above for all 3 semesters in PPKS.
Hmmm. I post my result here so I'll have my walk of shame. Tak nak malu, get better results lah. Aiyoo.

2 years and 7 months on 7th Feb// 07.02.2013

I like this date. macam comel je, kan? :)

Anywayyy, I need new spirit to start up the new semester. fuuhh.

Siapa kecewa masa dpt result final anda yg lepas? Sila angkat tangan.
*Hand up*
I know, I know. I blew it. I thought, if I could start off my semester okay, I'm able to get Dekan on the future finals. Its okay if I manage to get 3.0 but I didn't. I mean, its almost there but not quite. 2.94 is still not 3.5

But you know, if I didn't fall, I wouldn't know when to push myself. Then, there's no struggle in study. kan kan?

But here's a new song for February. Unbelievable by EMF. catchy tune. heard it at Spectacular 2013 and it just glued to my mind. So that you guys can get hooked by this song too, I put it up in my blog. Enjoy! :p

BEAT IT WITH BEATS

I'm gonna put on a playlist here in my blog so you guys could listen sing along to what is on or curse me for even choosing the song. Either way, its my blog, I have the freedom to choose my songs. But you have your rights too, you have the freedom to mute your speakers if you guys find the disgust in my choice of music.

Don't worry, I'll change the songs every month. and hey, remind me when I got lazy okay?

This month....I'm choosing a song that could be old to you guys but it goes into my Never-gets-old playlist.

Love bug by the Jo Bros. I mean, Jonas Brothers :)

Not that I'm outdated or anything, its just that I love to find time to appreciate them. kan kan kan? and you don't always have to love something because others are loving it. You don't have to follow the status quo.

Anywayy, I love the Jonas Brothers. 'cuz I guess I can sense that they actually write songs for their love of music, not for fame. I mean, they're not some boy band dancing singing group. They create their own songs. They play their music. Just like why I choose Yuna over Najwa Latif. Cody Simpson over Justin Bieber. and ohhhh Joe Brooks, Avril Lavigne, Becca and Skye Sweetnam...gosh! Not that I have anything against these singers, I don't hate them. I just choose to love the ones who are better :)

Not a --- --------- fan *shrug*

Amelia

Baggage

“You see, everyone's got some baggage. It's part of life, but like anything else, it's easier when someone gives you a hand with it.” —Ted Mosby

If you guys watch How I Met Your Mother, then probably you guys know what I'm talking about.

Ted Mosby's baggage was that he was left at the altar. He was about to get married, then Stella left him to be with her ex boyfriend. 

And if you guys know me long enough, you guys would know what my baggage is. When I was carrying that baggage, its as if its the worse thing in the world. So freakin' heavy to carry everywhere. But after I open my eyes, I realised that its not that heavy at all. We all are the controllers of our mind. I was turning an anthill into a mole hill. I was only thinking that its hard to let go. But its not.

Alhamdulillah, I found people who inspire me and help me along the way. I'm ready to let go of that baggage and start anew. I began to see why Allah had sent me to go through this path. 

I didn't get Vet so I have to study at Jeli > Met awesome people at UMK Jeli on a jog on a Friday Morning > I found a support group that helped me all the way.

Before, I am this person who thinks, its okay to let things the way they are. Nothing has to change. Then I realised that I'm complaining along the way, saying that why can't it be this way instead of that way?

But in order for things to change, you have to change. I found my way. :) Thanks everyone.

I think I already found my way a long time ago but I just need that fire under my caboose to make a step forward.

Spectacular,

Amelia

Minority?

So what I've been learning this week is...
Please be considerate when other people are trying to study.

I'm saying this because when I was studying for Anatomy and Physiology, a friend came by our room and talk to my room mates. Well, no. She came by like allll the time. I don't mind having her around. Tapi bila nak study I really need peace at mind so I'll understand whatever I read better. She has a loud voice that even when I'm using my headphones to a volume 10 on my phone, I could still hear her talk.

Kebetulan, mereka ni takda exam the next day, I was the only one studying at that time. They talked a bit loudly that I actually had to go out of the room and went to a friend's room just to study. I was studying Anatomy, my friend was studying Algebra, there wasn't much sound that could distract me. I know I know, I could have said something like, boleh tak perlahankan suara sikit? Tapi tak sampai hati.

And tonight, they're all studying Physics while I'm watching Devil Beside You. When I encountered a funny part in the episode, instantly I laughed. But it wasn't even a bit much distracting as the talks they have the night before. Tapi gelak sikit pun dah kena tegur, 'tahu lah dah habis exam, takyah lah duk gelak sgt'.  Hmm, nampak tak ketidakadilan di sini?

Semalam I was studying alone, they couldn't give a damn to lower down their voice. They were 3 of them.
But tonight, 4 or 5 of them were studying and I had only laughed a bit that it had disturb the freaking hell out of them? Mana hak saya? See how the minority always lose?

But regardless, I have the power to write what I feel and express in a manner that's appropriate right here. Sabar je lah. Patience is virtue.

Amelia

Protect me, Superman

I had a nightmare a few days ago.

I was in a Kancil, I sat on the passenger seat and I guess I was waiting for someone. I started the engine and I put my handbag on the driver's seat (I don't even know why I did that). So there I was, just sitting in the car...until I suddenly spotted a car with a few guys in it. The car comes from the opposite direction. So I can clearly see that the car is packed with guys. I freaked out and reached my hand to push the lock button.

As the car came near, I saw one of the guys held out a bat. The car stopped right next to the Kancil I'm in, stopped next to the driver's seat side. I became scared. I froze.

The bat guy hit the window and took my handbag. Only to have found RM6 in my purse (I was in short of cash lately, sampai masuk mimpi =_=). He wasn't happy with the amount.

The bat guy came to my side of the door, with the bat held tightly in his hand. The other guys followed him. I began to panic. What's he going to do? What's my escape plan? Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. I can't process everything fast enough, I hugged myself as if that could protect me. I cried just by predicting what's he going to do next.

I looked down hoping that the guy would just go away. But he didn't.

---

I don't know what happened next. I escaped the nightmare before I became traumatized even more.


I guess I've been having guy issues since New Years that it freaked me out so much then it comes into my dreams. The Chinese guy who's always in the library kept on 'cuit' my bahu and smiled creepily at me. My friends pun kenal dah dia ni. Tak pergi library dah because I'm scared he'll sit next to me. Nurul pesan, pergi library dgn kwn, jgn sorang2. I did. I went with my kakak the other day. Tiba2 the seat on my right pula kosong. He sat there but I kept on looking on the book I'm reading and tunduk habis2 lah. Then slowly make my exit out of the library. Nurul kata bawa pepper sprays lah bila jln sorang2.

Then there's this guy that kept on annoying me. Saying he's gonna datang meminang. But I already have Wafi, tak perlu calon lain dah. At the same time, I'm having finals now, tak faham2 ka org nak study? Call pagi, call malam. Bila Nora nak study kalau cmtu? Rimas. Lain la kalau kita ni ada hati kat dia. Kalau u guys tgk his dp on fb, he even used my pic I took of Yoyo using my polaroid. -___- apa function pun tak tau. xdaaa gambar lain ka?

this one. but he cropped out la. but its obviously mine. Grr. 

Maybe they're being oh so creepy stalker tahap maksima that I feel so insecure around guys now.

Or maybe I'm the one who's being too paranoid?
I'm scared.

Arrhenphobia,

Amelia

Dear 2013

These are the things that I hope to achieve and maintain for 2013.

Kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan.

1. I'm going to stop buying food products by Nestle and stop eating McD. Tak nak support Israel. (Azam baru selepas kena brainwash sebab attend Malam Untuk Gaza) After I have finished my Milo packets and Nescafe packets, then I'm clean of Nestle products. I had to say goodbye to Nestum. Tapi takpaa, Quaker Oats menjadi pujaan hatiku sekarang :)
2. I'm going to start eating healthy. No junk food. No maggi. No fastfood (um, reducing it bit by bit laa). But so far I have not eaten any maggi since November2012. Let's keep it that way, shall we? I'm gonna help my family to avoid all these too. Gonna do this by cooking more home-cooked meals. *this resolution is inspired by Nutrition Club. Yay health.
3. I'm going to focus in class, excel in exams and get on that stage for Anugerah Dekan Fakulti Industri Asas Tani. *I became an AJK for this event and thought to myself, 'I'm gonna be next on that stage'.
4. I'm going to be more positive on things. I'm going to start my day with a smile on my face and motivate myself in the mirror everyday. I am a tiger. Auuum. hehe
5. I'm going to be an active member in UDD and Nutrition Club. They help me with everything I go through. They are my other family :)
6. I'm going to raise up my hand to ask and answer questions in class. Kenapa perlu takut angkat tangan? Tak kesian kat lecturer ke? Sorang2 je mengajar..mana two-way communication?
7. -'- ----- -- -------- -- ---- ----. -- ----- ---- ---- ---- ----- -- -----.

I have seven goals up there. The seventh goal..lets keep that as a mystery. Its not like I even remember what those blank dashes say. haha -___- siapa nak teka, teka lah :D

So, Ya Allah, help me fulfil all these seven goals in 2013. May it be a better year for me and my family and friends. Amin~ 

Amelia