Coping with Uncertainty

There's always a point in your life where you just stop and think. What do I really want in life?
I mean, if you know what to want, then Allah will guide you in that.

There was a time in my life where I know what I want. So it was smooth sailing all the way. Then, it didn't go as planned. I guess, Allah has better plans for me.

When I was taking SPM, my target was...UPM UPM UPM. So I could get into Vet. I don't get to enjoy weekends because I was at tuition just to score my SPM.
Alhamdulillah, I did get UPM Bintulu. But everyone never wanted me to go that far from home. Then, I entered PPKS UMK or UMK's science entrepreneurship foundation, trying to get into Vet. I kick butt at exams and scored well. I mean, dapat anugerah kecemerlangan akademik upon graduating from PPKS. That has to mean something, right? Allah helped me in so many ways. Tapi takdapat Vet, it wasn't my rezeki.
Now, when I'm on animal husbandry course, I guess its blurry. I don't know if I want to continue my masters in Vet after my degree. I don't know if that's possible. I learn things other than just education at UMK. There was a shifting of perceptions on things. So basically, I told myself, a degree is just a piece of paper. You can go on and create jobs for people instead of working for someone else.

Ummi was against this of course. Awak ingat dgn degree awak tu, awak boleh dapat kerja? Kenapa tak jadi cikgu je? Awak dapat English, Addmaths A+. You can teach that. Kalau tak pun, pergi lah jadi Accountant. Anak kawan Ummi dapat Addmaths biasa2 je pun boleh jadi accountant. Duduk lah dalam office, dapat gaji. Awak change your course lah. Go apply using your SPM result.

So what happens to my 2 years of hardwork? Hilang je?

Hmm. When will you get to decide what you're going to do with life? I thought you're old enough for all this? Ummi expects us to be grown ups but she has trouble in letting us grow up.

Kerja untuk duit atau kerja untuk impian?

I can't sleep :'(

Toothbrush

I accidentally left my toothbrush at my Nenek's house after spending the weekend there. Ugh.
So after having my Sahur this morning, I rampage the bags and hope that I'll find my toothbrush. Alas, takda.

This got me thinking. What do you do when you lost your toothbrush? Logically, I would just use my finger and put toothpaste on and brush. Later, I'd go to the convenience store and  get a new toothbrush. I know, as if the junk and stuff from my mouth are removed when I use my finger brush =____=

Then, another thought occurred, what do the people, who have lived before the toothbrush was invented, do? How do they brush their teeth? Do they even brush their teeth? What about toothpaste? Tell meeeeeee, I'm curious but I'm lazy to do a google search.

Anywayyy, on that visit at kampung, there's a reflexologist live nearby Nenek's house. So, we went to check it since Ummi's been having some problems with her legs and stuff. I have a go and have a massage myself. Let me tell you this, its not as pleasant as having a massage. Plus, I got black swollen parts on my leg and pain.

On the up side, my wrist which was injured playing ice skating last week is healing. It's not healed yet, but its getting there. YEAY.

Its kinda cool actually. You get to know your body through your own feet. Each point of your leg represents a part of your body. The person didn't actually massaged my wrist to get my urat and stuff to be aligned, but massaged on my feet. Which, btw, hurts.

I get to know what's happening with my body too.

• Pernafasan pendek. or shortness of breath. Something to do with my lungs lah.
• Leg cramps. The reflexologist actually pin point the parts and the reason why I got those black ugly swollen parts. 
• White discharge. Peranakan.
• Need to 'kurang makan manis'. =____= How can I be apart from sugary things?
• Gastric

Hope things will go well.

Toodles,

Amelia

Perfect Timing

Sometimes the correct words need to be used within the perfect moment. If I really need a hug now, I need it for that moment only. Getting it later wont affect me. And after the time has passed, you may or may not have your chance again.

I can't afford to be treated like this.