;

When I was younger, I had these...thoughts.
It wasn't really nice thoughts.
It started when I was 12. I did some things that shouldn't be explained here. I feel stupid and dumb.
I thought I grew up from all that.
But here I am more than 10 years later, the thoughts came back.

I would say that it was triggered by my sister's friend. I don't really know her.
But my sister post it up as a status and me ending up asking whats up with the status.

Her friend is having suicidal thoughts. She's 16 years old. Older than when I first got those thoughts.
I told my sister what someone had told me when I tried to do something to myself.

"If you really wanted to do it, you would have done it by now."

But I didn't.

And so I tried to understand why it was more important for me to stay than to leave.

My thoughts wasn't like, "What if I die this way". It was more of like, "What will happen if I die?"

Its always things like, "everyone will go through life just as it is." I would think that it would be much of a better place if I die already.

I thought these thoughts wouldn't come back.

But they did.

I got depressed thinking about not able to achieve anything in time. What if I would just end up not being successful. What if I just become a housewife who lives off from her husband?
I feel I'm just so ambitious but some set backs made me bitter about life.

I'd hate myself if I couldn't achieve my dream.

I always had tiny goals that I want to achieve.

for the past 2 years I'm trying to achieve 45kg as my weight. I thought having 47kg is already alright for me. But my boyfriend wanted me to hit that target.

I was enthusiastic. I tried all methods that might work. Some did but I just couldn't reach lower than 47kg.

I got sad. For not hitting that target.

I feel pressured. Sometimes I wish I have eating disorder so I could actually stop myself from eating.

This just adds up to the depression mode for the whole two weeks.

I do recite the Quran every morning so I could at least feel a bit closer to Allah. I tried to feel better but its hard to just be instantly 'happy'.

"Mental tak kuat. Cakap sikit dah down."

You don't know why I'm like this. You don't have the right to say that.

To be so ambitious but stuck in reverse is such a hard life to live.

I hope these thoughts wouldn't come back;

2/28

I wanted to make it as a daily thing but I just lack discipline to do so. But lets just pretend that this is a continuous thing, shall we?

Sometimes I feel lost and I feel angry and I just don't know what to do. I know 20s are the time for all of us to figure things out but I'm almost halfway through to being 30. I thought I got it all figured out but I came back being lost bit by bit.

Maybe I have figured it out before but I just need some reassurance. Maybe I need some courage. Maybe I need some clarification on what to do next.

Well, dear Nora Amelia. You don't always need to know everything. Just learn new things. Figure out what to do when you encounter a problem. Be the better person in every situation. Ummi brought you up very well to clear all these tiny shrub pathways into the real deal: your dream.

Yes, your dream is this beautiful thing that only you, yourself could handle, only you could see it. But if you want others to see it, you must show it through your actions.

I made a schedule on what to do so I could have everything on time nowadays. I need to think clearly. I must be diligent to do all these tiny tasks and see the bigger picture. All these will help you into doing the next thing. You cant just skip the whole process and say, "Hey I'm a fashion designer" , and not knowing what to do. You need plan. You need to devise a strategy.

From now on, I will start posting pictures of what I could do. So people will see my potential. People will know what I am capable of. People will beginning to see my dream taking shape. I will grasp every opportunity that I could ever get. This will open more doors. This is happiness.

Get ready for my baju raya and baju tunang YASSSSS

Taking charge
-Amelia

ps; I want everyone to ponder on how Allah has made us all happier and even better than yesterday. I was sad about something yesterday but it just occurred to me that Allah just gave me that extra push for me to move forward. Like being sad is what you need to feel happy again. Allah is the Greatest. Alhamdulillah.

1/28

I'm starting to learn how to count again. Counting my blessings that is.
Being at home for the semester break have made me less grateful and the negativity is just overwhelming.

This is me trying to have a comeback to the writing world.

Next Monday will be my second semester in Fashion Design Degree. Alhamdulillah. Look how far I have been since my last update.

Over the semester break, I made a few garments. One for Along for her bridesmaid's kurung moden. One for Ummi's school batik uniform. One for her friend. 2 more for her friend's daughter. One for nenek, which I still need to adjust the hip area was a bit snug on nenek.
for a total of 2 months, I made 6 outfits.

Yeay

Not exactly a proud number but at least I did some, right?

Other than that, I ran my first half-marathon last January. That is my first 21km woo. I think I could go further after this. Maybe 48km will be in the list pretty soon.
But for now, all my marathon running have to be on pause 'cause I currently have RM21 left in my bank account.

I really need a scholarship soon. Abah and Ummi can't be burden by all this anymore.

All I could do now is to sell instagram accounts for a few hundred ringgits which isn't much if you think about my tuition fee being nearly 10k.

I need to change this.

-Amelia

Down.

Im in a depressed mode. What ever I don it seems like its never enough. I am not good at anything. I thought that I am but Im not.

Breaking Down Goals

Life goals to become a Fashion Designer with my own label.
In....
5 years - Label with collection, a team of graphic designer, tailor, pattern maker and etc.
4 years - Complete a university degree in Fashion Design
3 years - Research on fabrics and materials to work with that is lightweight, iron-less, flowy
2 years - Successful dropshipper/agent (earn enough money to get a label)
2 months - have a scholarship on fashion design degree course.

Last days

If today is counted as the last days of my life, what would I do?
I mean, have I lived well?
Have I done anything that makes me happy?
Is this how it all ends? Is this how I wanted it to end?

Brands

Orang kata kalau nak jadi orang yang berjaya, kena jadi kuli dulu.
If you want to run a restaurant, then be the waiter or the help in the kitchen.

Just like if you want to have your own boutique and your own label, then work in a boutique , learn sewing techniques and get creative.

I really don't mind working for people. But the way they treat you is not acceptable. There are bosses who are really nice. But some is just blergh.

A good job is not with the highest pay. But its when you have a good boss.

Ingat ni. Tak kisah lah kau ni siapa, be nice and they will be nice to you. Simple formula. You get what you give.

Im done rambling, while waiting on the steps of a shop so I could work at a boutique upstairs. Im quitting in a week.

Simple. Kalau tak suka keadaan sekarang, ubah. Find other jobs, look for a miracle.

-Amelia

Jodoh

Kadang kita tak sedar kita terlalu taksub dengan cinta manusia dan kita lupa cinta Ilahi.
di situlah Allah mula menguji kita....ibarat nak kata;
" kenapa hangpa boleh sukakan ciptaanKu tetapi boleh lupa kepada pencipta sebenar?"

Kau ingat dengan cinta manusia kau boleh bahagia? Kau ingat dengan kejarkan dunia kau dapat tenang di akhirat?

Kau lupa.

Mungkin sekarang kau nampak dia terbaik untuk kau. Tapi sekali kau lupakan pencipta kau, sekelip mata Dia tarik semua dari kau.

Jodoh kita di tangan Tuhan. Jodoh kita berubah mengikut masa. Orang kata cari jodoh yang sekufu dengan kita. Dan kena ingat; iman manusia berubah ubah. Nak cari yang sekufu pun bila kita dah tetap iman.

Aku doakan agar engkau yang terakhir. Aku dah penat. Tetapkanlah jodohku.

The Unsolved Issue

To whom this may concern:
In 2016 I'm trying to be more positive. I'm still in that phase that I'm still figuring out what I should do in life and how I'm still trying to improve myself.

But is my effort enough?

I'm one of those people that even though I do some 'sorting out and buang' old stuff, it will take me forever to be doing just a portion of those stuff. And I guess those stuff will still be there in the end. Thus, it looks like I didn't do any clearing up stuff.

Macam tak nampak pun perbezaan.

Just like what I'm trying to overcome right now;

I need to do more cooking, yes, niat:
Masak sebab...? Kena masak untuk diri, kena masak untuk suami, kena masak untuk anak-anak nanti, kena save money by cooking at home instead of going out to eat.

Dahtu kenapa tak belajar lagi masak? Ini penting okay.
Hmm. Honestly, idk why. I mean, I wanted to. Why is it so hard? Dah betulkan niat...Now, take action lah.

I need a plan, of what I should do....

I guess that I don't know where to start/

I guess that's why I'm still not married. Sapa yang nak wife takreti msaak. basic apa pun tak reti?

I know my apologies don't worth anything to you. But I just need to say that. Saya akan buat but it takes time,

I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.
-Amelia

Age

My sister just turned 24 today.

And guess what, I'm turning 23 in 10 months time. I can't believe I'm turning into those people who can't accept that they're growing a year older every year.

In addition to that, I'm in a relationship with a guy that's younger than me. A year younger but yet seem more mature than I am. How is that possible?

I mean, I don't mind that I'm older but I guess it does bother me a bit in the pit of my heart. The fact that he has more experience in life makes me feel like I don't have to worry much, though. We'll make it work somehow.

This is a short one but I'll keep on writing later. I miss writing here. Plus, its a new year and this blog's background is looking kinda old. Really need a make over.

Till we meet again.

-Amelia

New ?

On behalf of 1st January, I wish you all a happy new year.

We didn't celebrate or anything. Heard fireworks out the window but never peeked to see where it comes from. I guess its different now. But I was never the one to be excited on new years. I never waited for midnight for count downs. The most interesting part of New Years is the fireworks; yet I wasn't a slight excited for it this year. Why?

Kerja.

I slept on the sofa on New Years Eve. Fell asleep at 11.30pm and woke up brightly at 2am. What's wrong with my bio clock anyway?

Wait, did I say kerja? No, no. I meant, practical training. hah. No gaji no cuti. Don't do your LI here guys. You can't even go out after 7pm.

Tapi ada hikmah.

I found him.

I'm not trying to sound like I'm absolutely in love or something. But he's different.

This guy. He's not rich. He's not even model-face handsome. But I can see behind all that nakal act, he is nice and he knows what he wants to do in life. That's what I want in a guy; a guy with goals.

Don't get me wrong. Amir was the nicest most sweetest guy ever. I don't deserve him.
Amir pampered me too much that I didn't even bother to try to improve myself after terlebih manja. I can't be someone I want to be when I'm with him. Don't good relationships are supposed to be like when one encourages the partner to better themselves? Well, I hope with this Johorean I'll be able to be someone I want to be.

He already taught me to stick to my roots. Be humble. Be generous. Have plans in life. And make sure I stick to them. So, here's my own assignment to myself: Financial Plan and Life Plan.

Semoga dipermudahkan semua urusan akad nikah naik pelamin dengan Zaheir Al Bakry. Im not jumping into new relationships too fast, kan? Hmm. Kalau dah jodoh.

Talk to you guys later then.
-Amelia

IDOLA SAYA

I feel like I'm about to write a primary school's homework with that title. haha

I used to have an idol that I idolized. Well, that's what I thought of what an idol should be.

What is an idol? who? what makes someone an idol?

Its pretty subjective to say I guess.
oh btw. I'm not procrastinating, okay? I'm just getting my creative juices out so my writing will flow smoothly. haha.

What makes an idol - to me?
An idol
is someone who I look upon to.
someone who I can emulate.
Someone who teaches me individuality.
Someone who dares to be different.
Someone who knows how to have fun in doing what he/she loves.

I don't want to be fake.

I mean, I like a lot of icons or even people surround me that I can look up to. But none has all of those.
Can I just choose a few people and get out the best traits in them and write this report?

Lets see...
Can I say that  my idol is Avril Lavigne? Yuna?
I mean, I'm not like one of those fanatic extremist or fan girl.
But so far, I like how these different individual become one person with the same trait which is...they are daring to do the things they love. They chose their own path.

I don't wanna say that I love them because they sing great (which they do). But I wanna say that they don't have to be anyone else. They are comfortable in their own skin.


lets make a table shall we?
a table of which has a greater trait that i can emulate. because I doubt that my lecturer will let me write down 2 idols.


Avril Lavigne

• Loves animals
• has her own label
• got a few album
• fighting for a cause

Yunalis Zarai

• has her own label
• doing the things she love to do.
• found her passion
• has a fashion sense. a fashion icon and trend setter
• got a few album

I guess I choose Yuna!

Wheeeeee. I'm gonna have so much funnn. 

by 

Qasrina Amelia

Observe and you will see

Alhamdulillah.

I had just finished my assignment on a forum english script which is due on Monday. Allah had granted my wish that I once prayed;
"Ya Allah bantulah aku untuk menjadi lebih organised. Bantulah aku untuk manage time dgn lebih baik."

Tiba tiba
Allah gave me all these tasks all at once. I just became a JPP Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Pelajar in my kolej. With that, I have more responsibilities and more work at hand. Semester three has challenging subjects that need more quality work with shorter datelines. I had to juggle my time with bowling, which I just become wakil Kolej Komuniti in Negeri Selangor. we practiced bowling that needs 1 hour travelling from where I am.

For two straight weeks I had to sleep at 12am and woke up at 4am to finish my assignments and still have time for extra activities.

Macam ni rupanya Allah nak bantu aku untuk manage time dgn baik. Alhamdulillah.

It worked. this semester I bought a planner. I wrote down every important dates and events so that I wont get behind on any work. It helped sooooooo much. Lega sangat.

Then for last semester I prayed to be a good leader.
So for all groupwork I became a leader and get all these different group members. Some did their work but some would just test my nerves.

I had to be fair and had to do what I must do. Delegate task and give them early dateline so I could review before submission. Alhamdulillah for few a groupwork I got praised for handing in a neat work with all the needed objectives. I even got praised for a design I made for Senireka I subject.

So what is the point for this post again?
Yeah, when you have prayed to Allah, Allah will grant it in mysterious ways. You just have to learn to observe them.

QasrinaAmelia
and oh! I make printed kimono cardigans now. boleh laaa nak start business. May Allah ease everything. Pray for me. Love youuu (:

Curse or Blessing?

Oh Hi.
This feels awkward.
I'm an introvert, I get flustered and nervous easily around people I'm not familiar with. Malu nak tegur this blog sebab dah lama tinggal dia berhabuk.

So shall I begin to the last time I left you?

September.
I battled with my gut and my parents. I told EVERYONE that I might want to get into another school for fashion design. I might even consider going to a private one. heh. RM19000 just for a foundation? Then, a degree that's RM91000. uhm I'm not rich.

I was even gonna consider telling my dad, but he and I were never in good terms. I was like, nehhh, takpayah nak peningkan otak. But in my heart, I feel so sad that I couldn't continue else where and harvest my full potential.

October.
Semester 1 ended.
I got 2 weeks of holiday. Which flew by as fast as light. I had only 48hours more or less at home then I hopped on a bus to Kelantan just so I could carry my two boxes home to KL, and of course have an entire day with my friends. Oh I was happy seeing familiar faces and how time is just running out. Though I didn't get the chance to meet up with everyone, Seeing these faces make me extra happy.

November.
This was just a few weeks ago.
Start of a new semester. It became busier than my first semester here. I thought people there would catch up with the speed and do their work properly. But no, I feel trapped and as if I couldn't move forward anymore. These people ask me questions on how to help them on things, simple petty things that when I answer them, it feels like I've insulted them. These simple petty things to me are, something you can think by yourself, common sense wei. Somehow they don't have that kemahiran berfikir.
I even cried in the phone with Along because I feel stressed out that they keep on asking me these things and I can't even focus on my own thing to do. I said,
"I WANT OUT. I'M GONNA FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO STUDY. A PLACE THAT'S ACTUALLY MY LEVEL."

I can't do that, can I?

I'm not rich, plus I pull myself out of UMK, tak kan lah nak minta Abah support me financially in another place? Entah bagi entah tak.

I told myself, I need a fresh start. I need to see the positive side on this. Yes.

It only take that person to turn the obstacle into a curse or a blessing.

I had no real friends that I connected with. I tried to call Wafi and text him but he just seems so busy...like all the time. I  needed him but he wasn't there.

I kept on waiting but it seems like he wasn't interested in telling me whats going on in his life, just like how I was trying to do with him. We kinda drifted.

I broke up with Wafi.

That was that but we promised to be friends.

December.
New fresh start. I found my focus. a business for me to go on. Haven't started it yet but it will.

by QasrinaAmelia

How's that for a label? *angkat2 kening*

Kosong-kosong

My Mum is an English teacher at a secondary school in Malaysia. She thinks that all her children should have a higher education than her. I second her on that. I wanted to be better. I want to do well.

"Kalau Ummi belajar sampai degree kat Canada, anak-anak Ummi mesti lah tinggi dari tu. Masters ke PhD ke."

I always imagined myself studying abroad for my tertiary level education. I haven't given up yet.

I wanted to be a Veterinarian since I was 14 years old. I think decided on that after I brought home a stray and took care of her. She was still a baby.

My Mum can't imagine myself being a Veterinarian. She had always see me being an English teacher or even an accountant; seeing that my SPM result turn out A+s for English, Maths and Addmaths.

I was stubborn. I didn't want to be a teacher because I know how she has always have to juggle time for her students at school and us at home. She rarely cooks but had fed us well. I didn't want to be an accountant even though I like numbers. I told her that I want to study at UPM, then somehow having my degree or Masters in Australia. I even look up online for Universities that offer Veterinary Medicine. It was a foggy plan but I believe in it. I was confident that someday my plans would work out.

She gave in on me being a Vet but I can't study in UPM because I got a campus in Bintulu. I had never been away from my family before and my Mum had just become my best friend. So, we settled for a foundation in Entrepreneurial Science  which she told me that I can further my degree in Vet later. I was thrilled and scared and excited all at the same time.

When my Grandma asked me what am I gonna study later, I told her I'm gonna be a Vet.

She laughed.

Like it was the silliest thing ever.

"Ingatkan jadi doktor orang. Rupanya doktor haiwan."

I walled up. It hurt a little and I told myself that it wont get to me. Somehow its become etched in my memory.

After three semesters there in foundation, I obtained dean's list for every semester.

"I showed them.", I told myself, feeling smug.

Then it comes the sad part. Dean's list pun tak layak jadi Vet? Penipu.

I feel betrayed and sick. I fell into my second choice course.

Fast forward, three semesters later, my Mum asked me again. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I was glad she asked. "No."

First day back to Semester 4, I already told my roomies. I want something else. For the entire semester I look up schools for fashion design. Uitm? Kolej Komuniti? London Fashion School?

I was sad to leave my friends but I know I would be sadder to say goodbye to my dream. At the end, my friends would be happy with their own job and life. Where as I might leave some part of me behind. I can't let that happen again. I'm gonna be better. I'm going to be strong.

I never thought I would have this second chance at trying.

I build up new dreams. I set up new goals. I drafted my whole life plan. But I am better prepared this time. I know that things wont go as planned, I know Allah have always given me the best. I know this because I have the best Mum ever. Whatever happens, I wont get too attached to the plan I drafted but make sure to love what Allah gives instead. Allah akan lorongkan jalan. always. I believe in that.

So, here I am. kosong-kosong.

Well. Not entirely kosong-kosong. I know in my (almost) 21 years alive, I lived. I have been in spelling competition and story telling in primary school. I tried Tae Kwon Do and Piano in my secondary school. in my tertiary education, I went hiking, I joined debate club, I won a debate competition, I made lifetime friends, I finally made a decision in my own life: I'm gonna choose my next school. I'm gonna aim higher. I even polish my drawing and art skills because I want to be a fashion designer, even though I took a science stream in my secondary school! I keep telling myself, I am better than this. I should start showing my potential. Who knows what's next? KLFW? London Runway?


by Nora Amelia

Fan Girl

Eric Bana

from movie The Time Traveler's Wife

Alejandro Manzano 

from Boyce Avenue

Gerard Butler

from PS. I Love You

I can see a pattern here. Can you? 

HAHA

Saya bukan pokok

Allow me to clarify.

I might be someone who can't finish a lot of things. Let me tell you, my current degree course has no MQA. My foundation that I went through before that degree, has no MQA certified.

"So, kiranya kalau mohon mana2 University, depa tak terima lah?" Fert asked. I met him in debate club. He was in his fourth year when I was in my first. He founded UMK Desperate Debaters. Also hold an Anugerah Diraja or Anugerah Cancelor when he graduated. Now he's furthering in his PhD.

Yes. that's what happened. But I'm glad I went through all that years, because I might not notice that I like sewing. I like pattern in clothes. I like how the finished product looks like. I liked this when I was in my Foundation, when we have to sell things and I chose to do my own felt keychain and brooch.

If I went to UPM, instead of that foundation, I wouldn't know anything about entrepreneurship, probably. I just wanted to be a Veterinanrian dulu.

In my age of almost turning 21 this year, I realise that I am one of those people who is just trying to figure out what to do with life.

There are people who are lucky enough to know what they want to do in life with first try. While others are still figuring out. But most of them would just settle for what they are given. That's not how it should be. Allah wanted us to rebel and fight for what we want. Its just a test for us to break free from our entire life of slavery; doing things that we don't love.

Let me tell you. It is not too late.

Dulu saya kata saya nak buka animal shelter. Yes, it will happen in the future. Tak semestinya kalau saya tukar ke arah lain, saya tak mungkin nak capai impian tu?

So, please please. Restrain yourself from doubting what I do. I see it clearer on this path. 

I did not waste my years here. I developed. And I'm just applying what I learn. I love how Debate Club teaches me confidence. I love how Kelab Nutrisi taught me that I need to take care of my health and my loved ones, and it teaches me the value of having dreams. and that its possible to achieve. 

"Kita diciptakan sebagai manusia. Kita ada akal. Kalau kamu tak suka hidup kamu sekarang, ubah. Allah dah beri kita keistimewaan untuk berubah.

Lain lah kalau kamu ni pokok. Kalau pokok durian ada impian nak jadi pokok rambutan, tak kan jadi, pokok durian tu tetap pokok durian. Sebab Allah jadikan kita sebagai manusia, khalifah dunia, kita mampu berubah. Kita bukan pokok."

Dr Idros, pengasas Kelab Nutrisi.

So, I found my passion. I'm going towards that.

I need your support. Not your doubts.

Amelia

Loopy

Song: Lets Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits
By: Magnetic Fields

I guess, I like songs that are in that vibe. Like the singer is high or something. I think that guy singing "What does the Fox say?" is not sober. "Anyone Else But You" by The Moldy Peaches are great too. Cute and quirky kind of way. Gimme more Indie.

Its like, feeling high without the drugs, not that I ever had any.

Sorry for the crazy talk. I'm sick. Its not an exam unless I am sick. Probably due to the fact that I have to sit in an air-conditioned room (my seat is directly under the air-con, btw), for two hour and a half. Not to mention my butt feels numb after sitting for so long. -_____-'

Then after all that cold temperature, I have to walk under the hot weather. Plus, petang-petang kat sini hujan lebat after the hot afternoon. My body can't regulate temperature fast enough to adapt.

Not complaining. Just telling you how it is here.

On an unrelated note, I am letting go some of my things. Old sweaters, throwing out my old Converse since I was 16, and some of the things I don't think I need. Can't carry much on my way back to KL. Can't leave things too much either.

So, yeah. G'day to you. Salam Nifsu Syaaban. Don't forget to recite Yaasin tonight and have solat sunat and all that (:

Amelia

Statement

I always thought that numbers are just numbers.

So here's a sentap moment when your partner implies that you should grow up. Yes, he implied, he didn't say it but I knew what he meant. Its just like Ummi saying, "Angah, ummi dahaga lah." She doesn't have to say it, but I knew she wanted me to go get that glass of water for her. 

Each time I'm writing down my age on an application form or something, I wish it is still 20. Now, I have to be reminded that I'm almost 21 and yet still has to figure out what to do with my life. I mean, I have plans, but I don't know what to start with, and how to start it. 

Now, age defines maturity. I never like that statement. But most people in the grown up world think its true. I don't live in that grown up world. But I would have to join that club sometime in the future. Soon, apparently.

The thing is, I feel like I grew up so fast (imagine what Ummi feels). I am probably the most mature among my sisters. No offense to Along, she actually admitted to it. I knew most grown up things when I was 14 years old. But that does not include driving. Haha. 

That was probably the reason why if I'm not around my family, I am this immature little brat, trying to pry attention from people.

Well, you know what. You're right. Fun's over. It's time to grow up. 

But this does not guarantee you that I will be wise up to your expectations. 

Baby steps,

Amelia

Dear Dreamer

Dear Dreamer,

People are saying that you can't do it. You can't achieve this, you can't achieve that. But don't get discouraged. They don't know what they're saying because only you and Allah can see your own vision of your future.

Yes, you might lose your way but that is the point. There is no straight short cuts to your dream. Ordinary people will think there is only 2 paths, one to success and one to failure. They don't know that there is only one path. But in that path to success, there will be a lot of failure. You don't stop at any failures. You get up and you come back stronger. Once you get up, you're one step closer to your dream. As cliche as it sounds, its the truth and it happens exactly like it is. 

So, Dreamer, don't give up. Even if you hear others laughing at your dream, you have to make sure that you have the last laugh. 

I have always imagine a fulfilled wish would be the day that you have run that extra mile and you're still not tired. Instead you crave more and more. And each time you get to the finish line, you get to put your hands up and say "I did it!". Imagine that smile upon your face. That satisfaction. That hard work.

And it will never be a competition against others. The most important thing is to compare yourself to your own. Beat your last records, and find the joy in moving forward.

If you can't seem to move forward, just take one step. Polish your thoughts, get new inspirations, get new goals. You will do just fine, I'm sure.

So, little Dreamer, dream big. You have great things ahead for you. Go get it.

Amelia