Monday, December 17, 2012

Empowerment

I don't need to always walk with someone. I will talk when I need to. I can be independent. I can discover myself when I am by myself. I don't have to always follow the flow. I can make my own lines. I can make a difference. I can soar higher because I have my own wings. Just because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. It means I am brave enough to go through life knowing that others will leave you someday. I know I can be my best because I have my family. I have my friends. I have Allah.

I can be anything that I want to be. I am limitless. I will be better. I am better.

I'm grateful for the extra sleep I get today. I'm grateful for still breathing. I'm grateful for the things I want but didn't get because its not the best path for me. I'm grateful for having Ummi as my Ummi.


I am content, I just want more.
Amelia 

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Approached


Today I went to the library to do some readings on Polymer. As I was picking up a big book on Chemistry, I noticed an eye looking at my direction. But I was like, “dia terpandang je kot. Perasan je diri ni.”  I ignored the stare and went to my seat.

After a bit of reading and I found a bit on the assignment topic given (Alhamdulillah), a Chinese guy sat next to my table. He was using the computer to search on his topic. The thing is, the table he was at, has the not functioning computer. And he had to google on the next table. Nak jugak duduk kat sebelah meja I.  I didn’t actually notice him until he said hi to me. He is the same guy I noticed satring from the book shelves. He asked if I’m a junior and from which programme. I said I’m a junior from SBH. Just to be friendly I asked him about his course. He is a senior from SBH. And he was like, “I’ve never seen you before.” He wore spectacles, with so sepet mata, it was adorable. 

Then I continued on reading on the Chemistry textbook because there was a long pause. I didn’t want to talk much anyway; it’s a library, duh! Then he asked me, “kamu dah kahwin ke? Nampak ada pakai cincin.” I smiled and say, “No lah. My mum bought me this ring.” Terkejut that he actually noticed the tiny ring. Dalam hati dah terdetik, dia perhatikan aku ke dari tadi? 

I guess he can’t focus on the journal he was reading and ask a lot of questions that made me think. The questions are probably for him to know more about me. But really, I see it as if Allah is trying to make me think about who I am now and what I wanna be later. 
“ Lepas graduate nak jadi apa?”
“Probably a Vet, because it has become my dream ever since forever.” But I’m actually having doubts about that. So when he asked me, I don’t know what to answer.  Basically I answered with something I’m familiar with. Something that I have told everyone; I’m going to be a veterinarian because I love cats and blah blah blah.
“How about you? What are you going to do after graduate?”
“I’m going to open a massage center, or probably a spa. Haha nak ambil org kerja so org boleh urut saya.” I laughed at that.
“But that’s very different than what you’re learning now.” I mean, boleh je kalau nak belajar fisioterapi or something, instead of husbandry science.
“Yeah, tapi mmg dah dpt UMK dgn course ni, nak buat macam mana.  But I’m a hedonistic.”
“Apa tu?” Then he googled. Hedonistic, doing something for pleasure and minimise the pain endured.
Shawn. He’s nice, I guess. Though maybe I’m being paranoid or something because, when I was finished   with Chemistry and started on TITAS, he came nearer and wanted to read my TITAS book too. Maybe dia saja nak ingat balik apa yang dia belajar…tapi dia duduk dekat sangat. I was getting uncomfortable so I moved a little further to the edge of the seat. His right hand is on the seat of my chair. I cleared my throat so he wouldn’t get nearer to me. 

Anyway, it was nice to have a new perspective on things after talking to him. Though, the close distance between our seating was unnecessary.  Nasib a while after that he pulled away his hand. Phew.

From what happened today, I guess Allah never want me to feel that I am alone. Which I don’t, Allah sentiasa ada. Allah gave me a new friend in the library.
Here are the things I could think of to be grateful today;
Alhamdulillah I got to be the course that I wanted here in UMK, I mean it’s not much different than Vet. 
Allah gave me a mind that could think about what I want, and the strength to follow that dream. Alhamdulillah I’m not too lazy to pursue it. I mean, kalau tak usaha, tak da laa kejayaan, kan?  
Alhamdulillah walaupun duduk seorang mula-mula, ada jugak org dtg bersembang. Tak laa mengantuk nak belajar.

Amelia

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Oh wow

Everything went so fast! Finals  are coming soon! on the 6th January. Grr risau pasal kimia? definitely.

So basically I have no significant story to tell you, I guess. But maybe I can just recommend you guys to check out a book called 'the Key'. Its interesting because it talked soo much on the Law of Attraction.
What is the Law of Attraction? You guys have to google it yourselves. I'm only limited to google (and blogger) with my Samsumg Galaxy Note.
tak puas nak google byk2 dekat skrin yg sungguh besar tapi xcukup besar?

Amelia

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Instant reflex

I picked up a copy of the Star in the library today. and I guess Im impressed by how a lot of charities done in Malaysia and by Malaysians. Yayasan Chow Kit Children is helping troubled kids with their education. I feel fortunate enough to be able to have a regular life, instead of not having a birth cert and cant go to school. and you know what this 11 year old kid does before the Yayasan found him? He was finding customers for his mother..who is a sex worker.
And theres also about this charity walk for leukaemia kids.Walk for Life 2012.
and  Malaysia is on an aid mission to provide food and blanket to Palestinian families in Gaza.

I guess what Im trying to say here is Im lucky enough to be born as a Malaysian.. as healthy and as fortunate enough to go through life as a regular person.
Bersyukur sgt kan? Alhamdulillah.'
Jadi, kita yg sihat ni...kena lah tlg mereka2 yg kurang bernasib baik. Insya'Allah I'll find something so I can contribute. Dont u guys feel inspired?

- Amelia

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Superman Obsession

Wouldn't it be cool if there really is a nerdy guy with glasses suddenly turned into a superman? maybe its just me. but I guess Im always a bit obsessive on superman.