Protect me, Superman

I had a nightmare a few days ago.

I was in a Kancil, I sat on the passenger seat and I guess I was waiting for someone. I started the engine and I put my handbag on the driver's seat (I don't even know why I did that). So there I was, just sitting in the car...until I suddenly spotted a car with a few guys in it. The car comes from the opposite direction. So I can clearly see that the car is packed with guys. I freaked out and reached my hand to push the lock button.

As the car came near, I saw one of the guys held out a bat. The car stopped right next to the Kancil I'm in, stopped next to the driver's seat side. I became scared. I froze.

The bat guy hit the window and took my handbag. Only to have found RM6 in my purse (I was in short of cash lately, sampai masuk mimpi =_=). He wasn't happy with the amount.

The bat guy came to my side of the door, with the bat held tightly in his hand. The other guys followed him. I began to panic. What's he going to do? What's my escape plan? Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh. I can't process everything fast enough, I hugged myself as if that could protect me. I cried just by predicting what's he going to do next.

I looked down hoping that the guy would just go away. But he didn't.

---

I don't know what happened next. I escaped the nightmare before I became traumatized even more.


I guess I've been having guy issues since New Years that it freaked me out so much then it comes into my dreams. The Chinese guy who's always in the library kept on 'cuit' my bahu and smiled creepily at me. My friends pun kenal dah dia ni. Tak pergi library dah because I'm scared he'll sit next to me. Nurul pesan, pergi library dgn kwn, jgn sorang2. I did. I went with my kakak the other day. Tiba2 the seat on my right pula kosong. He sat there but I kept on looking on the book I'm reading and tunduk habis2 lah. Then slowly make my exit out of the library. Nurul kata bawa pepper sprays lah bila jln sorang2.

Then there's this guy that kept on annoying me. Saying he's gonna datang meminang. But I already have Wafi, tak perlu calon lain dah. At the same time, I'm having finals now, tak faham2 ka org nak study? Call pagi, call malam. Bila Nora nak study kalau cmtu? Rimas. Lain la kalau kita ni ada hati kat dia. Kalau u guys tgk his dp on fb, he even used my pic I took of Yoyo using my polaroid. -___- apa function pun tak tau. xdaaa gambar lain ka?

this one. but he cropped out la. but its obviously mine. Grr. 

Maybe they're being oh so creepy stalker tahap maksima that I feel so insecure around guys now.

Or maybe I'm the one who's being too paranoid?
I'm scared.

Arrhenphobia,

Amelia

Dear 2013

These are the things that I hope to achieve and maintain for 2013.

Kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan.

1. I'm going to stop buying food products by Nestle and stop eating McD. Tak nak support Israel. (Azam baru selepas kena brainwash sebab attend Malam Untuk Gaza) After I have finished my Milo packets and Nescafe packets, then I'm clean of Nestle products. I had to say goodbye to Nestum. Tapi takpaa, Quaker Oats menjadi pujaan hatiku sekarang :)
2. I'm going to start eating healthy. No junk food. No maggi. No fastfood (um, reducing it bit by bit laa). But so far I have not eaten any maggi since November2012. Let's keep it that way, shall we? I'm gonna help my family to avoid all these too. Gonna do this by cooking more home-cooked meals. *this resolution is inspired by Nutrition Club. Yay health.
3. I'm going to focus in class, excel in exams and get on that stage for Anugerah Dekan Fakulti Industri Asas Tani. *I became an AJK for this event and thought to myself, 'I'm gonna be next on that stage'.
4. I'm going to be more positive on things. I'm going to start my day with a smile on my face and motivate myself in the mirror everyday. I am a tiger. Auuum. hehe
5. I'm going to be an active member in UDD and Nutrition Club. They help me with everything I go through. They are my other family :)
6. I'm going to raise up my hand to ask and answer questions in class. Kenapa perlu takut angkat tangan? Tak kesian kat lecturer ke? Sorang2 je mengajar..mana two-way communication?
7. -'- ----- -- -------- -- ---- ----. -- ----- ---- ---- ---- ----- -- -----.

I have seven goals up there. The seventh goal..lets keep that as a mystery. Its not like I even remember what those blank dashes say. haha -___- siapa nak teka, teka lah :D

So, Ya Allah, help me fulfil all these seven goals in 2013. May it be a better year for me and my family and friends. Amin~ 

Amelia 

The (probably) brief summary of 2012

2012 Summation
In January
I was still a PPKS UMK student, struggling to be this such an awesome idol towards her siblings. I don't need worships and such. I want respect and so they'll look up to me and say, 'Hey, I'm going to be like her someday.' Oh wow, I guess I'm kind of a control freak. Wanting everyone to look at me as I want them to.

In Februray until May
Its when I struggle to study for finals and had my first dinner with my PPKS UMK family :)
Siapa tak stress? This was also the time I secretly thought of applying other university other than UMK. Takut tak dapat Vet, takut tak ada harapan, takut masa depan tak secure.

In June and July
Guess what? I didn't apply any other Uni sbb dah lambat and Taylor's uni is not on my family's budget.
Tiba-tiba on the 15th July, me, ummi and my lovely adik2s went to Kulim so I can go on stage and get that reward. I mean it was one of the days that I can smile up to my ummi and say, 'I actually did it...and its all because of your support :)'
But on that very day, I went home to BSD, holding back tears. Wafi and I broke up. The next day I got the news that I didn't get into Vet school in UMK but got animal husbandry instead. I guess I'm pretty much in denial since then.

In August
Fighting to get into Vet school, appeal to Dr Azam, the Dean. Alas, nothing worked.

In September
No Vet, No Wafi...I went on studying in Kampus Jeli. I think it was downhill for me. But I never lose hope, cuba jugak nak tanya Prof Ibrahim for my application. But its okay, I have my friends, I have my family. and Wafi, I mean, we talk sometimes. Hee ouuh, kat Jeli dapat roomates yang awesome lagi hebat seperti Nini, Zati and Jo Jie.

In October
Naik pentas lagi sekali untuk graduate PPKS aaaand terima anugerah cemerlang akademik. hikhik.
Ya Allah, jangan bagi aku riak. Jadikanlah setiap kejayaanku yang kecil sebagai semangatku untuk terus berusaha menjadi yang lebih baik. Ya Allah, insya'Allah next sem aku akan naik lagi ke pentas untuk anugerah dekan pula. Hopefully. Aminn

In November
Somewhere in October I met UMK Desperate Debaters (UDD) and active to debate since then. Who knew I could be one of those guys who actually have the courage to speak in public...and fight for the given topics.
By then I realised that enthusiasm is important if you want to be good at something. Tunjukkan semangat anda! Yeaaahh~ and oh  I also learnt that, if you lack confidence, fake it. Fake it good. Then maybe you'll believe that the imaginary confidence you build is true and real.

In early December
I keep meeting awesome people in UMK. Banyak yang luarbiasa. Kakak2 kat Kelab Nutrisi mmg hebat :)
Kak Sal, Kak Sachi, Kak Aisha, Kak Syifa and Kak Mira mmg ada jiwa yang ohsem, they carry such a good deed to help Malaysians to be healthy.
Met them on a jog one morning with Nurul and Zati. They've become family ever since. and I've become a member of the Nutrition Club ever since. Proud of it!

So I guess that's about it. The highlights in each month in 2012.
I wonder what 2013 has for me in store?

Amelia

2012 is saying goodbye

Oh okay, firstly, 2013 is coming up soon.

Phew, 2012 seems so long to pass, somehow.

I need to list up the events that had happen in 2012...so I'll know how far I've evolved.
This needs some serious thinking. Hmm...I'll get back to you on that one.

Controversional

I'm sorry for posting such insensitive post to some of you. I've been such a jerk. Not just in this blog, I mean, I have hurt two of the most important people in my life this week. New record huh? I need to think about what I say, what I write and what I do so people wouldn't get hurt by my oh so kejam hati.

I have upset a dear friend to me by saying things that was not nice, so I apologised but the guilt was never gone. I can't eat. 

So I stayed away from her in a bit so I wont make anymore damage. I went to the library alone that next day. Then met a new friend. Just a passerby that I blogged about.

I think that blogpost has upset another most dear friend. My jantung. See how evil I am?

I don't know . Ya Allah, I'm sorry.

I can't really talk to Ummi. I need not burden her with my mental issues. I need to be stronger than her. She'll never have to worry about me.

umk jeli on monsoon season