Imposter

I have always wanted the best. But I never measured myself as being the best there is. I mean, do you compare me with others and wish you had chosen them instead? Am I worth the wait? Yelah, comparisons are easily made once you've had the taste of perfection.

Sometimes I question myself, "Kau. Kau layak ke?"

I'd try whatever I can to prove myself. But I will never know the real answer.

And if you say that I am as good as you think I am, I have a fear that I couldn't live up to that expectation.
I still have my shy side which are sometimes are being misunderstood as being a snob. But yelah, you cannot control everyone's way of thinking. Only Allah can. We just have to show the best image we could potray. Being as honest as possible.

What if
Aku bertepuk sebelah tangan?
Aku syok sendiri?
Aku hanyalah mainan?

-Insecurity

Idea

I remember something that Leonardo de Caprio said in Inception. Well not the exact words lah, but more or less its like this; when you have programmed your mind with an idea, it never goes away. Sometimes you wont even know if its reality or the dreams.

Lets say you imagine yourself up on stage, receiving the honor of being in the Dean's list. You programmed your mind to have that idea. Here's an interesting thing about your brain; your brain can see images that you imagine. It could not tell the difference between a memory or your imagination. So when you daily imagine the dreams you want, it might come true because your brain thinks its real. Its that simple but not a lot of people discover it.

People I surround with nowadays keep talking about dreams. What to achieve..why do you want to achieve it..why is it important that you achieve it. Things like that.

When I said I want to do my masters in vet, I want to do it because I want it to be easier when I later own a poultry farm. Hee takperlu nk panggil vet dah. I realised that getting a masters in vet is not my destination but is a part of the journey. Its not my WHY but its actually my HOW.

More about it later ;)
Amelia

Pushed rights

You are entering my comfort zone.
I usually write down stuff in my gold diary but somehow I liked it better when I type out my feelings here. Gosh.

I am such a PUSH OVER.
"Jangan sampai awak dipijak kepala."

I know I know, I have to step up and be stronger everyday. I have to have principles.

Tapi, aku. Layak ke?

Just because I'm an optimist, it does not mean that I'm naive. I am not. I can think clearly, I just don't have the heart to tell you, 'No'.

Tapi jangan lah pulak sampai orang nak pijak kepala. Takpa, dah settle dah semua. Abaikan.

Then my mind wondered, I realised that the voice in my head is not mine. Its saying the things that I'd like to hear but I know that is not me.

"Hey, Nora Amelia."

Where are you? Who are you? Show yourself.

Are you scared? Please don't hide yourself. 

Do you know why everyone is 'hiding'? People are judged excessively due to their awkward sense of living, walking, expressing and whatnot.

Which lead me to this: are we supposed to mould into the community that have the same kind of characteristics? Where's the individualism in that? What is individualism anyway? Why can't I do what I want without having someone to judge me?

Everyone is afraid of perceptions. Of what others think of you. But so what? You ARE what you THINK you are. Not what others think of you. 

I HAVE THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE. Choosing to : what to wear, what to dream, what to do. Basic human rights lah, so hear this, people all over the world: DON'T TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY. I am what I am. You do not define me.

Give me my human rights.

Amelia 

Short and Sweet

Assalamualaikum.

Today I'm just gonna say what's on my mind:
1. I miss Ummi.
2. I think my will power to strive on what I believe in has increased.

Moving on to my first point, let me just say, Ummi is currently at Beijing with a fieldtrip with her school. In which I think is really cool. Yesterday after I performed my Maghrib prayer, I prayed an wish Ummi is here so I could tell her everything that's going on. I feel like theres a dire need for me to share everything to Ummi.  I wanted to call but then I remembered the fact that she is not in Malaysia, so mahal lah call.
Subhanallah, you know what happened next? Baru je terfikir pasal Ummi, then I received a Whatsapp from Ummi. She had sent me a picture of her at The Great Wall of China. Huuu Allah dengar doaku.

Orang kata, kalau rindu kat seseorang, kita letak tangan di dada, baca Al-Fatihah kepada orang tu. Semoga orang tu tahu yang kita rindu kat dia.

Next, I feel that there is a change in me that may cause me to stop and say: I am never giving up. I mean, let me tell you, whenever I feel like there's an obstacle ahead, I would avoid it in anyway I could. But now I realised that how many times you avoid it, Allah will still grant you that obstacle but in a slightly different way.
Dulu, aku selalu berpendapat, tak mampu, takpelah. Takperlu teruskan. Then, you will still be
But in this Semester, I faced 2 challenges that is regarding my plan to do fast track in my degree. Mula2 kelas clash, sekarang I actually terlepas 1 semester to do SIEP.
Sekarang everytime I feel like giving up, there's always one person (tak kisah lah siapa), ONE person that says to me, "Don't give up, Nora. I know you can do this." Its like Allah is trying to give me signals through that ONE person.

I want to be that ONE person that pulls you out of the river and gives you CPR. The saviour that could change a person's perception on the things he/she is going through. Cuba bayangkan, you are down on your knees, just one act away from giving up, then a person comes up to you and pull you up and say, "Walk. I know you can. Move on. Doesn't matter how slow you move, the least you could do is move" If there are a lot of people doing this act of kindness, I'm sure no one would even have any ideas of giving up. Kan kan kan?

Alhamdulillah, syukur. Kita masih mampu hidup, mampu untuk bernafas lagi hari ini.

Amelia

Achieve when you Believe

This title is sooo cheesy, though its true :)

eh nee wei.
Big news. BIG NEWS.

So far, I got to be in two senior classes : Poultry Industry with Year 2 students, Animal Health with Year 4 students.
I managed to be active in Nutrition Club, in which I will definitely open up my own club soon. SOON.
I am also an active debater for UMK Desperate Debater (UDD).

Plus, I am the Naib Pengerusi 2 for Club of Animal Science Students.
I have never been a leader, except for being the Penolong Ketua Kelas in darjah 3. -___-
Can I handle this? YES!

This is only March. 2013 is off to a good start! I'm loving it!
Ya Allah, bantulah aku untuk menguruskan masa dengan baiknya. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan harianku. Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk melalui ujian-ujian mu.

Oh! there's also an activity by the Nutrition Club that I am dying to share: DREAM BOARD
Its not silly to dream. and its not silly to play arts and crafts and paste your dreams on a piece of cardboard.
Wanna know why?
When you hang that Dream Board up that wall, you will look at it  every single day, you will feel motivated to strive for it.
Lagipun, apa yang kita fikir, apa yang kita rasa, apa yang kita lakukan...semua itu DOA. Kita doa untuk capai kita punya impian. Insya'Allah tercapai juga nanti.

Wanna see my dream board? Its not that complete 'cause I haven't paste 'every dream I have on my mind' into the piece of cardboard. But here is the sneak peak..

Whatever that we think, we feel, we do..its all prayers to Allah.

hehe 07.07.2020

cottage house for Ummi

Wallabies and the Lady Gauldian Finch 

AUSTRALIAAAAAA !

So what I'm gonna say, you may heard it before from other people but I'm gonna say it again.

Dare to Dream. I dare you.

I dare you to dream as big as possible.

I dare you to list down every thing that you want to achieve in life.

I dare you to find something that could make you go on, make you strive to get all of those dreams.

I DOUBLE DARE you to make your own dream board. 

I started to put pictures of the things I want when I was in Kolej Mara Kulim. I look at the pictures of the Polaroid camera and even my Samsung Galaxy Note. Now I have both of those things. Happy tak?

Believe then you can achieve. Even if there are things in life that you feel is trying to bring you down. Just smile to that. Remember: you are STRONG. nothing can disturb your peace of mind. (The Optimist Creed)

I have my headphones on but not listening to any music. 

Whaa?

Amelia