Back To Reality

I looked out the window. I watched the layers of cotton candy on the sky while the plane was slowly going down for landing. The cloud looks so puffy. It made me want to live in the sky. It was a beautiful weather to fly in. The pilot announce that the temperature is 29 degree. Not too sunny out. That was a few minutes later after they served the food. Then, the Baskin Robbins ice cream ! HAHA, it was so yummy. I don't mind eating another ice cream. ;)

When the plane landed on the Earth, I waited for the moment when the seat belt sign to turn off. but when I looked beside me, my little sister had already taken off her seat belt. I pointed at the sign above us. I was just kidding, but she put it on again anyway. she's funny that way. XD

I switch on my phone and 4 messages flooded my phone. The first and second messages was Irfan, Maxis notifying one miss call from Abah, and a message from Sameer. They were so cute when I met them a day before.

I replied to the messages when I reached home. but on my way home, there was a call from Amir, my cousin I mentioned on earlier post. He wasn't that bad, he got accepted at UITM Sungai Petani. and just calling to make sure I'm fine. isn't that sweet?

Things are looking up anyway. I was smiling all the way home. Somehow, the grin faded when I remembered that school is coming in 4 days. Shit ! haha,

***

and now, its New Year again. 2010, hope it brings me luck in life. I seriously in need of luck. I want straight A's for SPM. and hopefully Abah is there all year round.

Speaking of which. There was a knock on the door at 3.30am ! Who knocks at the door at 3.30 am ? Apparently, I'm the only one in this house who heard it. I knock on my parents' door and told them. Thank God, my mother told me that my Abah is supposed to go to Masjid at the Kem. and the one who's knocking is actually his driver ! ahaha,

anyway, to anyone and everyone, Have a Happy New Year !

I Don't Fit In Anywhere

Might as well be no where. I wish I could just be in a place that I don't have to feel awkward when I started talking to someone.

There's been a little gap in my heart that had just been filled again. No, I'm not in a relationship. My Abah just started to fill my heart again. as my dad. I begin to feel like he's trying really hard to make it up to us when he failed to be there for us when we need him. and we always need him.

At night, recently, I can't sleep well. everytime I try to close my eyes, these crystal-like liquid started to fill my eyes. I wonder why that happen. They told me that I'm feeling stressful. but who doesn't? when your dad was a living zombie. That bitch poison him with her lies. The witch cursed him with her black magic. He had no control over his own soul. He's their toy puppet. I hate that ugly bitch. sorry to say, I hope she burns in hell.

Seriously, all my friends are worried about SPM, while I worry about my Abah. but its all gonna be okay now. I know it will. Thank God. I can't handle this anymore, hopefully its over for good.

That Dream

It was a wonderful dream.

Unfortunately, I will never know the ending 'cause I woke up before it ends. Its 4.20 am now. That is early. I mean, I couldn't even wake up at 7 am yesterday.

What's the dream about? well, I can't tell you. why? Ever heard before that if you tell someone your dreams, it may never come true. haha, yeahh. that line was picked out of Walt Disney's Cinderella. you can tell now that I watch a lot of Disney cartoons.

Rejection + The Cousin Factor

Waking Up really early to post something. NO, there's no great news or great things to post about. Its just that in no time my little sisters are gonna wake up and I don't have the chance to give an update.

Here's the thing.

I am excited to go back to KL and I am scared too. I'm scared of rejection; not by the guy but by my friends. Okay, this is gonna sound weird but Idk what my friends think of me. I'm scared that if I change, they wont accept me. I'm scared that if I meet them, its gonna be different. They're stylish but I am not. They talk make up and fashion, boys/their boyfriend, and up-to-date stuff, but I don't. whoa, I'm a Loser. and really no one wants to hang out with me.

There's another thing too.

We're gonna visit Nenek at Perak. and Ummi told me that there's a majlis makan-makan for my cousin's newborn baby girl. I'm grateful and all that I get to be an Aunt.

BUT, and that's a big BUT, I kinda have this cousin, guy, 18 years old. Well, when I was 4, I have a crush on him. okay, idk what I was thinking back then. I always thought he has leadership material and he's a lot of fun. This 'thing' is brought up when I'm in Form 2. he told me he like like me. but Hello? Cousins, remember? so, we text-messaged each other. here's the summary, he is actually over protective and in a creepy way. My sister told me her friend was once his gf and she said that she broke up with him because he wouldn't give her some air to breathe. he's weird but I don't want to upset his feelings and he kinda thinks that I still like like him. Dude, that's far from the truth. so, I'm hoping that I wont see him during the holidays. but What if I do? What will I do? God, Help me, Please?

Another Monday Has Past

Monotonous Monday.
I'm counting the days till we get to KL. *lama nyer.
While waiting for the days to pass, I'm finding ways to NOT die of boredom.
I made a friendship bracelet yesterday. It didn't turn out that nice. Anyway, that was only the first try. I'll try another today. wish me luck.

and also I'm gonna watch some DVD; note:need to buy more DVD. I'm bored watching the same old movies.

I have to limit my time on the computer since my little sisters wants to play online games during the holiday. ;(

huh, update on The Guy; I've been crushing for him for like, ever. and I still don't have the guts to tell him that. and anyways, he's in some University now. I mean, why would he even bother to look at me. though the crush fade a bit since I moved to Kuching, its in flames now. Idk how that happen but yeah, that's what happen.


when we were still in the same school. he was with a girl. I love admiring him from a far. but maybe the view is different if I was nearer. . .