Everywhere I Turn, and there he goes

I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM.
I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM.
I JUST LIKE HIM LIKE HIM. OKAY?

but, he doesn't like me like me. seriously. I know it.
how do I know that?
Okay, I lied. I don't know that.

Bloody Hell.

and at school, he's like, EVERYWHERE.
everywhere I turn, HE'S there with his friends.
he makes me panic at the sight of him; panic nervous, that is.
I puzzled myself sometimes:Why would I want to get all panic?
It's not like he's looking at my direction, RIGHT?

I once made a promise to myself:
Not to get myself in emotions that can lead me to my misery.
NO. I. CAN'T. HAVE. HIM.
I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!
he DOESN'T LIKE ME.
he DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME.

I am invisible.
( major LOSER alert )

this sucks x10

Rain, Rain Go Away

Its been raining every morning since school started. Its like a sign to another gloomy day.

I feel tired and I just couldn't focus during class. I know the teacher is teaching something at the board, but somehow I couldn't understand much. oh my, I'm scared that if I don't catch up, I'll get left behind so far until no one could save this dead soul.

Its already Sunday but I still haven't managed to do any homework. Anytime I look at my homework, I'll feel dizzy and get this idea to go fetch something to eat. I wonder if there is any such disease with these symptoms? O_o

I have to stop my piano lessons for a while until SPM ends. when will it end anyway? My piano skills are getting bad. big time. I'm gonna download/print more and more music sheets and practice at home, I hope Ummi doesn't mind if I use her printer.

Anyway, I got a feeling that everyone I love is gonna leave me. Insecure. Paranoid. Anxious. Nervous. Okay, I'll get more vocabularies to use, now that I have my dictionary. Who could have thought that getting a dictionary could affect with such delight? I am content.

School gives me the pimples

Seriously, when school hadn't started, no pimples. but on the first day of school, I woke up with a zit on my forehead. What? Suddenly you develop so much hormones, once school starts?

I missed touching this keyboard. I miss writing here even though all I write is boring stuff. I can't actually write on weekdays since Ummi made a rule about I can only go online on weekends. That sucks.

His magic smile had swept me off my feet when I first saw him before.
I wonder if he knows that his smile could actually make some Ice Princess melt.

Nothing is Permanent but Change

SPM. senior year. a year with endless studying.

Sometimes, I just wished that I could stop time and let a moment last forever. This is my last high school year. DUDE! I wanted it to end fast but at the same time, I don't want it to end at all. All the people we know will be on separate ways. and there's gonna be a lot of changes.

My school principal told me in an assembly; "Nothing is Permanent but Change". She is right. There will always be change. The world hates being in a monotonous way. and whatever we do, there will always be change. That's for sure.

Ashley's going to asrama. ;( Then, who will I be with when recess time comes?

Back To Reality

I looked out the window. I watched the layers of cotton candy on the sky while the plane was slowly going down for landing. The cloud looks so puffy. It made me want to live in the sky. It was a beautiful weather to fly in. The pilot announce that the temperature is 29 degree. Not too sunny out. That was a few minutes later after they served the food. Then, the Baskin Robbins ice cream ! HAHA, it was so yummy. I don't mind eating another ice cream. ;)

When the plane landed on the Earth, I waited for the moment when the seat belt sign to turn off. but when I looked beside me, my little sister had already taken off her seat belt. I pointed at the sign above us. I was just kidding, but she put it on again anyway. she's funny that way. XD

I switch on my phone and 4 messages flooded my phone. The first and second messages was Irfan, Maxis notifying one miss call from Abah, and a message from Sameer. They were so cute when I met them a day before.

I replied to the messages when I reached home. but on my way home, there was a call from Amir, my cousin I mentioned on earlier post. He wasn't that bad, he got accepted at UITM Sungai Petani. and just calling to make sure I'm fine. isn't that sweet?

Things are looking up anyway. I was smiling all the way home. Somehow, the grin faded when I remembered that school is coming in 4 days. Shit ! haha,

***

and now, its New Year again. 2010, hope it brings me luck in life. I seriously in need of luck. I want straight A's for SPM. and hopefully Abah is there all year round.

Speaking of which. There was a knock on the door at 3.30am ! Who knocks at the door at 3.30 am ? Apparently, I'm the only one in this house who heard it. I knock on my parents' door and told them. Thank God, my mother told me that my Abah is supposed to go to Masjid at the Kem. and the one who's knocking is actually his driver ! ahaha,

anyway, to anyone and everyone, Have a Happy New Year !