wishy-washy

I've become so accident prone lately. My walking looks like some drunk person who just couldn't walk on a straight line. My hands has scars and marks from cat scratch to knife cuts and paper cuts. Despite everything, my hair looks fine. Muahaha.

The lazy song - Bruno Mars
that song is the theme song for my life.

In another unrelated topic, my comb/the remote control (depends on whichever is nearer) is my microphone for my concert which include singing Yuna's songs to Avril Lavigne. Huh as if I got some great voice. Whatever, my cats don't have any complains. XD

Everyone found their college or university to go to. I don't know yet. My mum kept giving doubt looks. " You didn't apply anything for dentistry? Are you sure you want to be a Vet? How about being a teacher? "
I'd give replies like, " I don't want to spend my life looking at peoples mouth, what if I hurt them badly? Yes, I want to be a vet but I also want to be a psychiatrist, a writer and maybe a physiotherapist. But I know I can't be all of that. A teacher is a nice job but I'm not sure I know how to handle kids. I know what students say about teachers behind their backs, I'm paranoid enough to know I wont last. "

I know, I know. I don't want to make mistakes. but if we don't make mistakes how are we going to learn not to do it anymore in the future? Is it so bad to trust me? Sometimes people need others to trust them to make them believe that they can do it. Its that little push to help you to do more.

Dear Bruno Mars

Bruno Mars - Runaway

Sing to me, please :) hee

Attachment

me : *takes out laptop and goes online*
Alissa : *on her bed* whatchadoin' angah? fb?
me : Nope, checking my applications for Universities online. *continues looking at screen*
Alissa : *quiet* *pulls blanket over her head*
me : *looked at Alissa* why are you so quiet?
?
*pulls blanket*
Alissa : *sobbing* you're leaving already?
me : no, not yet but I will. why?
Alissa : I don't want you to leave yet.

I hugged her.

Its strange, I mean, I never thought she'd actually cared if I go anywhere. Then I realised I never gone anywhere further from her, my family, for more than a few days.

We're always together. I'd hugged her at night when she had nightmares and maybe when she has problems going to bed. Even when we slept somewhere else, at a hotel, at my grandparents' house, I'd be hugging her at night, cause she sometimes has problems sleeping at new places.

Along was always the one going to boarding school and now she has no problems being away from us. but me ?

me : Its okay, Along will be back before I leave.
I promise I'll call every week, okay?
Alissa : um, okay .

Babysitter

If things go nothing like you planned, maybe God has another better plan for you.

Pedas

Ummi asked if I'm making the right decision, choosing Vet as my career path.
I said Yes.
She wasn't being supportive. I don't know for sure, alright? Stop second-guessing my choice, please.
But what if I'm making the wrong decision, can I restart the game?

I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm scared of the future. I'm not a perfectionist but I hate it if my life is not according to what I planned. I don't have the full sketch to my plans but I have the rough idea to what I want it to be like. Basically, its like most of you would plan.

Study in some University
Graduate and get a decent job
Have a stable economy income
Buy a house
Get married
Have kids
Go to Mecca
Grow old with the people you love

But thinking that the future is not in my grasp is just terrifying, don'tcha think? Maybe I'm focusing to the wrong part of the plan now. Get your head in the game, Nora. You can do this ! Life wont fail if you don't give up.