Absolute Chocolate.

I should start off by brushing off these cobwebs on this blog. Phew. Its been a long time, hasn’t it?
I was thinking, instead of wallow my feelings and getting my bed soaked with tears, I thought I should just get it over with by writing my feelings down.

Lets get to the point.

There was one thing that had me in the guts. Birthdays. And how lonely birthdays have been lately. Not on my birthday. But on my family. I couldn’t care less about my birthday. It would be special if it has chocolate cake and my family around me.
Last time it happened was when I was about to enter Kolej Mara Kulim. Ummi brought home a Secret Recipe’s cake and “Happy Birthday and Congrats, Angah” was written over it. I tasted lovely in my mouth. That was my last birthday cake ever since.
There were some bitter birthdays. The one when I was watching Benjamin Button on TV that morning and my parents were arguing. I didn’t mean to think about the bad stuff…but I just do. I have a good memory, even the ones I didn’t mean to remember.

We never have cakes anymore.

Usually we try to make it special. But it has never been anymore. I can’t go into details here. I just miss the times when it was normal.

No, wait. It wasn’t normal when it was normal. I just thought it was normal because I know less. And that had saved me from feeling uncomfortable and out of place on birthdays. I can’t help my tears when I type down these words. How has it been hard on me to admit to this. I WANT THINGS TO BE NOT COMPLICATED.

Amelia

Procrastination Addict

Having the time to watch Awkward season 4 when I have a video assignment and presentation due means that I have serious issues in procrastination.

So here is my guilt trip ride for my faults.

Focus, Nora. You need to FOCUS. You cant think that things are going to go your way without having a little effort. Stop worrying. Worry is for those who solely rely on their own efforts; which should have been putting your faith on Allah as well.

I need to make a list.

1. FOCUS.
2. What do I NEED to do to survive? Eat. Pray. Love.
3. Baby steps on presentation; Read journals and important points. Make sure to meet up with groupmembers and Puan Khairiyah. I feel like ditching the group and enter a new one. Anyone want me in? 
4. German Video with script and translation. and pictures. We're going to Europe, baby! Experience cultures.
5. PLL (:

Whisper

Sometimes I notice things and I follow as if its a clue. I get fixated and try to understand and relate these things. I mean, why do I have the thought of clicking this site or even have the thought of searching? Why is it me and not anyone else?

Sometimes, I think that Allah is trying to tell me things and I just have to listen. After a while, I tried to understand and figure out what exactly do You want me to respond with? Maybe I need to change my ways? Maybe I should change the way I think? Maybe this maybe that and many maybes more.

But I'm glad I get the message. Thank You.

Amelia

Say Alhamdulillah. Thank You Allah.

I feel like every word that I wrote down is like a letter written to Allah. I am never good at constructing words and say them out loud. But Alhamdulillah, Allah helps me in my writing, my doa just so I could find a healthy way to express myself.

Dear Allah. I'm not have always been the good person that I can be. I have my ups and downs. Sometimes, I even fall deep.
 But 
I hope that I could be better and will be better in the future. 
Ikhlaskan niatku, ya Allah.

Because Mainstream is too mainstream

All American Rejects - Move Along
All American Rejects -  Dirty Little Secrets
All American Rejects - I Wanna
All American Rejects - Gives You Hell
Avery - Go Screw Yourself
Avery - Love Me or Let Me Go
Avril Lavigne - Take me away (B-side album)
Avril Lavigne - Don't Tell Me
Avril Lavigne - He Wasn't
Avril Lavigne - M y happy ending
Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
Becca - I'm Alive
Cody Simpson - Don't Cry your Hearts Out
Cody Simpson - Crazy But True
Estrella - Stay
Glee - L.O.V.E.
Glee - Whistle
Glee - Chasing Pavements
Goldspot - Rewind
Greenday - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Greenday -  21 Guns
Greenday - Wake Me Up When September Ends
HeyHiHello - Louder Than Words
Hey Monday - Candles
Hey Monday - Homecoming
Hilary Duff - Someone's Watching Over Me
Imagine Dragons - It's Time
Jessie J - Who's Laughing Now
Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul
Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know
Jesse McCartney - Right Where You Want Me
Jesse McCartney -Leavin'
Joe Brooks - Someday (Ok)
Joe Brooks - Rules of Attraction
Joe Brooks - Superman
Lemonade Mouth - Determinate
Lemonade Mouth - Breakthrough
Lifehouse - You and Me
Maddi Jane - Secrets
Maddi Jane - If This Was a Movie
Magnetic Fields - Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits
N'Sync - Bye bye bye
One Republic - Stop and Stare
Paramore - The Only Exception
Paramore - Ignorance
Paramore - Brighter
Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah
Ruffedge - Bila Rindu
Shaden - Dunia Belum Berakhir
Simple Plan - Me Against The World
Simple Plan - Shut Up
Simple Plan - Untitled
Simple Plan - Perfect
Skye Sweetnam - Music is my Boyfriend
Skye Sweetnam - Number One
Skye Sweetnam - Just The way I Am
Skye Sweetnam - Make Out Song
Spice Girls - If You Wanna Be My Lover
Taylor Swift - The Story Of Us
The Band Perry - If I Die Young
The Fray - How To Save A Life
The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You
The Veronicas - Untouched
Tonight Alive - Amelia
Yuna - Memo
Yuna - Permission
Yuna - Random Awesome
Yuna - Super Something
Yuna - Walking Like A Dream
Yuna - Raya Oh Yeah
Yuna - Tourist
Yuna - Fading Flower
Yuna & Qi - KL Kita

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
SECONDHAND SERENADE
You know that feeling when you listen to this song then, instantly it takes you back to that one time when you feel so much connected to that song.

Wanna know a secret? Every time I listen to Yuna's Dan Sebenarnya, it will take me back when I was this girl wearing braces having this crush on a guy that I never even once talked to. Hint hint. Feeling kinda dorky.

There was also this phase (2007 - 2009) where I was kinda rebelling and wore black over black and thick eye liner. My Chemical Romance and Avril Lavigne was always on replay. I remember one time in Form 2, I was walking home from school with few of my friends. Me, Sameer and Iddin (maybe sometimes Cupi) has the longest route home. Sameer was telling me that he has tickets to see MCR concert and I told him that I had never went to a concert before. I was never too excited to even ask my parents though.

I guess it was also the same day that he said he was going to run away few days before his wedding day so he doesn't have to marry the girl that his father arranged for him to marry. I told him that his life is a real life drama when I soon found out that his father did the same thing, run off to marry his mum, instead of the chosen bride picked by his grandfather.

See what I mean, the songs are a chain of memories. Random thoughts and ideas pop up.
These songs; it usually feel like those nostalgic moments with a touch of sugary sweetness. I will always have this thought of how much I've grown up and developed since I first heard the song.
Replaying the song would be like riding a time machine, just so you could be in touch of that feeling again. Here comes the endorphins.

*a tap on my shoulder*
"Tak kuat sangat ke awak pasang lagu tu?"
"huh? tak~"
"Sebab saya boleh dengar kat sini, padahal awak pkai headphones"
er. =_____= that's just how I roll. haha.

Amelia